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'My mother is an economist - manager'; Motivation leter for Aarhus university of Denmark


Dangere /  
Jan 31, 2010   #1
Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in applying for a International Management programe in Aarhus University of Denmark. I think that I am an appropriate candidate for many reasons.

First of all, Denmark seems to me a perfect place where I can see my future. I decided to study abroad because I think that your country can give me a lot of useful knowledge and opportunities. Secondly, management is the best profession where I could realize myself because I have properties that can be successfully used in your university. In order to that, I need the best education possible and I think Aarhus can provide it to me. I want to live in an international environment, comparing myself with people from different countries and culture. I love traveling because it gives me opportunities to meet new people and develop my communication skills.

...
kyledb17 1 / 10  
Jan 31, 2010   #2
These are the corrections I would make. They just help the essay flow a bit more. Hope it helps!

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my interest in applying for a International Management programeAre you going for a British or American spelling here? British would be programme while American would be program. in Aarhus University of Denmark. I think that I am an appropriate candidate for many reasons.

First of all , Denmark seems to me a perfect place where I can see my futureto be a perfect place to spend my future . I decided to study abroad because I think that yourthe country can give me a lot of useful knowledge and opportunities. Secondly, management is the best profession where I could realize myselfThis idiomatic expression doesn't quite work in English. You may want to try "Realize my greatest potential" or something of this sort, although it does distort the meaning. Also, make sure that if you choose the British spelling above that you are consistent and instead use "realise." because I have propertiesattributes that can be successfully used in your university. (The beginning and ending of this sentence don't seem to correlate.) In order to thatWhat does "that" refer to? , I need the best education possible and I think Aarhus can provide it to me. I want to live in an international environment, comparing myself withand expose myself to people from different countries and cultures . I love traveling because it gives me opportunities to meet new people and develop my communication skills.

My mother is an economist -/ manager, she is working in various companieswho has worked with various companies . From a very early age I washave been interested in her work,and have always tried to help her. This interest has remained until nowpersisted throughout the years . In terms of my personality, I must ds ay that I am of the firm commitmentfirmly commited,I love organizeand organized . I love to help others, regardless of whether, it is daily work or just a warm conversations. At school I participated actively journalism, five years I played fluteplayed the flute for five years , Iand danced and acted,theseThese activities taught me the value of teamwork, communication, fearDo you mean freedom? to express my opinion and take a criticism. I am responsible, practical, and do not get tired of taking care of everyday problems. In my free time I like to travel, visit night clubs, or just read a good book. According to the others I am cheerful and good heart person. I love challenges, it makes person stronger and more confident. From life I want to get as much as I can. I never give up, I believe, desire and I am seeking for theseek a better future.

I hope that you are interested in my candidacyapplication . I look forward to see my dream come true by becoming a student of your universityHopefully my dream will come true and I will be a student at your university .
xoxo 1 / 3  
Feb 1, 2010   #3
the letter is good

but I you need to prove some of your point

you said you have properties that can be successfully used in this university --> what properties, how can they be used

you said you participated actively journalism --> pointing out the achievements may help strength your letter

hope those suggestions would help


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