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A Mother's Influence (Common App Essay)


csmith11 1 / 4  
Oct 4, 2009   #1
The topic revolves around the person of greatest influence in your life...I'm not sure, this may be too formal and impersonal. That's sort of just how I write though. It may be a tad long, there was no max amount; the minimum was 250 mine is about 550 words.

Any feedback would be greatly appreciated, Thanks:

"All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel Mother." - Abraham Lincoln


My mother's given name is in no way a misnomer. "Light of god" is how her name is described, and I feel there could not possibly be a more accurate description. My mother's optimism and pure heart has enlightened and enriched me throughout the entirety of my life. Even in my darkest of times my mother has guided me. I am in debt to this woman beyond any monetarily attainable amount. Were it not for my mother I could not even dream of the person I have become.



My mother stands at five foot 3 inches, and has previously been compared to a pixie. However, she clearly shows appearance is misleading, for she is possibly the strongest woman I know. My mother's efforts are unflinching, she exemplifies "giving your all" perfectly. This is a character within myself she helped to ensure and influence. My mother has never been more disappointed in me than when I failed to try my hardest. I have always naturally excelled in regards to schooling; however, my mother did not take pride in this. "Naturally ability is meaningless unless you harvest it" is how she felt. My mother's pride in me arose from my efforts to raise grades in my weaker courses and to triumph over my own personal bests.



At two years old my family emigrated from Ireland. With no certain wealth in America, my mother, now an administrator of a health care facility that grosses millions of dollars each year escalated our family from destitution with her immaculate people skills and leadership ability. This unbelievable woman sacrificed everything for the people who meant most to her, her family. It is only now I truly appreciate this sacrifice. My mother was forced to commute to work, eighty miles from our home; she was there four days of the week. Although, I know it pained her to miss so much of my childhood, she sacrificed this for the stability of our family economically and as a whole.

Growing up, I was told stories of warrior women, existing in the ancient periods of my heritage. My mother pressured me to represent these individuals. She felt it necessary to be a strong woman, and exert yourself as such. With my mom's encouragement I learned to express myself truly. I found the pleasure that arises from being your actual self and not wearing a facade. Among, the influences and characters my mother inspired in me, I find this to be one of the most important. My mother always inspired me to aim to be my own boss, largely the reason for me opting for a professional track.



 There was a moment in my life of hopelessness. During this dark period I felt despair over thoughts that I had sacrificed my entire future over frivolous and foolish mistakes, and the company which I spent time with. My mother was never overly sensitive with me; there was no "sweeping under the carpet" in my household. After informing me of my errs my mother aided me to overcome rather than punishing me. Instead of chastising my wrong-doings this marvelous woman helped me to get back on my own feet, and recover myself. She inspired me to do so; saving me from self-inflicted failure.



 Words alone can not describe mother; neither can her titles: a mother, a saintly human being, an incredible leader, and an extraordinarily strong female, yet none of this quite portrays her inspirational influence. My mother has inspired me to aim above and beyond my wildest dreams. It is not just my great admiration for my mother that causes her bountiful influence on my being; it is her entire character and each of her actions which always serve as an aim for me to strive to equal. My mother mentored me and aided me in the enrichment of all aspects of my character. My mother, Eleanor Smith, is the most influential person in my life. Her rank as such is undisputed and irreplaceable.
EF_Simone 2 / 1,986  
Oct 4, 2009   #2
The topic revolves around the person of greatest influence in your life

The topic is that or just revolves around it?

I ask this only semi-sarcastically, because I notice a tendency to talk around what you want to say rather than just saying it directly.
OP csmith11 1 / 4  
Oct 4, 2009   #3
Yeah. I tend to do this. I have a hard time focusing my words especially when writing personally which poses a problem in the creation of college application essays.

So, I should try to focus more and be a tad more personal? Say, choose certain influences and elaborate on them and then speak more vastly in the intro and conclusion?
vlatski /  
Oct 4, 2009   #4
I agree. it should be more direct


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