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'Mother's influence' / 'Larger world' - UC ESSAYS #1 AND #2!


carlafueras 1 / -  
Nov 15, 2008   #1
UC #1:
Topic: Describe the world you come from ï for example, your family, community, or school ï and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

It took me seventeen years to realize what an astonishing influence my mother has had on my life. She's the kind of person who is lively enough to strike up a conversation with a perfect stranger in the produce section of the grocery store, the kind of mother who is unbelievably selfless, and the kind of mother whose hard work is completely for her children. Growing up with such a strong role model, I had always aspired to have her strength, or at least, her enthusiastic outlook on life. Then in May 2006, she was diagnosed with breast cancer.

Seeing my mother languid due to her medications in contrast to her usual upbeat personality was more of a shock to me than anything else. In all honesty, I was much too afraid to talk to her, and didn't know exactly what to say to console her. Earlier that year, my mother had also weathered a great disappointment. My older brother had been expelled from high school after getting into numerous encounters with the law. I, on the other hand, was distracted from academics and more interested in my social life. Immature and naïve, I really couldn't have cared less about school at the time, and I knew this saddened my mother deeply. Still at a lost of words to say to my mother after all these misfortunes, I attempted to comfort her in a different way; I began to try harder in school. My efforts in school were ultimately strengthened by the goal to carry out my mother's desires.

Two surgeries and a couple of months later, my mother fell into a deep depression. As my efforts in school increased, she fell deeper. I came to fully understand that even though my initial intention was to cheer up my mother, I had matured in the process. A strong realization of the importance of academics hit me. I was no longer the girl who put her friends in front of her studies, but her family and studies before anything else.

(I will be using this essay as a general essay for other schools as well, so advice/suggestions on this would be veeerry much appreciated!)

UC #2:
Topic: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

The fluorescent light beamed down on me as I situated myself among the stacks of cardboard boxes that stood out from the well decorated lounge room of Stanford Hospital. It was my second day working at this clinic, which specialized in patient services. My job for the evening was to restock the food in the room that served as a comfort zone for those who had loved ones in surgery or ill. I had gotten accustomed to working by myself for long hours, but today was different.

As I heard the beeping of someone punching the code into the keypad to get into the room, I shrugged it off as a staff member getting a cup of coffee, but to my surprise, it was an elderly man. We exchanged greetings, as he went on to get some food and I continued stocking. I sensed a tinge of loneliness as he lingered in the room, not really knowing what he was doing there. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked suddenly. I politely told him no, but told him he could keep me company if he wanted.

Before I knew it, two hours had passed and I felt like I had known this man all of my life. We talked about everything, from the weather to politics. He revealed that his wife was downstairs getting surgery. We also talked about college. As any normal high school senior would, I told him my plans with a sense of anxiety and uncertainty. He assured me that it was fine to be unsure and told me that he never went to college. "The only success I've ever had in my life is my marriage," he said, "I've been married for over 60 years." In complete and utter shock, this was something that was unheard of. From where I come from, the world revolves around academics. At my high school, it is not uncommon to find a student who takes more than four AP's a year or student's who have taken multiple SAT prep courses.

This stranger that I met and the conversation we had changed my perspective on life. Life doesn't revolve around academics alone, but rather, a balance. Although academics are undoubtedly important, there are many things that serious students are missing out on, such as football games on Fridays and school dances. After meeting Mr. Scott, I realized that there is a definite larger world out there, a world that isn't ruled by a grading system or a participation system, a world that doesn't care what your SAT scores are, but rather, a world that revolves around what you believe is most important.

My second one is a bit... still on the rough draft side.. Please give suggestions!


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