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"My mother got me into the medical field" - Personal Statement


keshkesh13 1 / -  
Nov 26, 2010   #1
The prompt is to describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how has your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

here it is :)

Doctor Murray. Has a ring to it doesn't it? As I am sure you know, my name is Lucille Murray or Lucy for short. I'm not sure which name I prefer better though. I guess neither really matters since I want to be a doctor and they simply call you by your last name. Whenever I think about being a doctor, I start to get a little excited. The tools, the craft, the people. If there was any job that resembled a super hero, this would be it. Now I don't want to be just any doctor, I want to be a surgeon. To know that people will come to me in the hopes of living better lives is astounding.

I blame my mother for ever getting me into the medical field. I also thank her for it. My mother is a Registered Nurse and when I was younger she always had her medical tools laying around the house. I was absolutely fascinated. I remember once my father had cut his hand pretty badly on a piece of glass and I was frightened so I rushed back into my mother's room to tell her. She immediately rose from her bed and dashed for my father - well she actually walked, but it was swiftly. When she reached him, she quickly knew what was to be done. She told me to get her some cotton gauges, alcohol, and medical tape. I, still in a state of shock from my father's injury, split to the bathroom and got the requested supplies. Within minutes my father's hand was wrapped up and he was back to taking out the trash and my mother was back to taking her nap. I sat there for what felt like hours in disbelief. Did my mother just fix my father from near death? No, not really. But she did fix his hand up, and that's when my desire to be a doctor began.

As I entered elementary school, I always liked to play with baby dolls. Immediately I talked to my mother and she told me that I should be a doctor who delivers babies; an OB/GYN I came to find out. As a young girl, I had my heart set on it and wasn't going to change, but when I hit about 7th grade my feeling started to shift. I started watching some teen shows that showed people who were "giving birth". I was not down for the cause. These women were yelling and hurting the hands of innocent bystanders and I did not like that at all. To top it all off, the baby comes out crying it's goopy little head off. Not my cup of tea. So I realized maybe this wasn't the kind of doctor I should be.

I began researching all kinds of doctors and came across surgeons. There were cardiothoracic surgeons, colorectal surgeons, endocrine surgeons, neonatal surgeons - if you named a body part, there was a surgeon who specialized in it. The more I began reading into it, the more I realized that this was the job for me. I began participating in the Health Occupation for Students of America club at my school and started going to work with my mother. Whenever one of my friends got hurt, I always volunteered to dissect the problem area, but most of them were skeptical. Ok, all of them were skeptical. They'll need me one day.

I guess I owe my fascination to my mother. I am really glad that she showed me the medical field. Everything about it is breathtaking to me. Some people ask me, how can you want to have a job where you have so many people's lives in your hand? It took me a while to realize that this job really isn't just something fun I like to do. Being a doctor is an amazing craft, but you have to know that each time you take someone under the knife you have an obligation to that person, their family, and yourself. To heal. And there is nothing in the world that I would rather do. It will be a very long and strenuous road, but I am up for the challenge.
imclovis404 4 / 8  
Nov 26, 2010   #2
Hi,
Your story sounds great! But I have a suggestion. I think that your essay just focused too much on your personality rather than "the world you come from". The case of your mother is a good discription and I think maybe you can write more on that.

Good luck on your essay!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 8, 2010   #3
That first paragraph demonstrates a very cool personality, but I think you have an opportunity to do something excellent if you revise based on some articles about specializations that interest you... for example, you might be very interested in particular kinds of surgery, and therefore you will be reading journal articles that physicians might read. There is plenty to learn, so if you are serious about being a physician you should be proactive and read what medical students read: articles written by physicians with the specializations that interest them.

You can also use this opportunity to demonstrate that the world you come from has included articles that help you to choose your specialization.

Let's not have any of this: As I entered elementary school, I always liked to play with baby dolls.

Focus on recent things. Focus on articles you have recently read rather than focusing on stuff from long ago in childhood.

So I think you should get more serious and specific. All this is not useful, because it is what someone would write if she had not actually done any reading about modern advancements in any particular area. I began researching all kinds of doctors and came across surgeons. There were cardiothoracic surgeons, colorectal surgeons, endocrine surgeons, neonatal surgeons - if you named a body part, there was a surgeon who specialized in it. The more I began reading into it, the more I realized that this was the job for me. I wanted to focus on (what seems most meaningful and exciting to you?), because I feel very strongly about (what makes this specialization your top choice?)

I began participating in the Health Occupation for Students of America club at my school and started going to work with my mother. --excellent!

Whenever one of my friends got hurt, I always volunteered to dissect the problem area, but most of them were skeptical. -----I think the essay should talk more about articles you are reading and less about childhood, and in general it should get more serious, but this line is SO great that I hope you include it.

:-)


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