Hi I wrote out my essay for the common application and I was wondering if I hit the main point of the prompt. Any other feedback/comments would be appreciated! Thanks!
Prompt: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
On a cold February afternoon of what seemed like an ordinary day drastically changed when I got a call from my sister. This wasn't a call of having her routinely check up on me, it was a notice to tell my brother and I that my mother had gotten into a car accident. I can remember the sudden panic that had risen up in my voice of indenial. That vague information I was told let my imagination run wild and assume the worst. In my sisters efforts to calm me down over the phone were futile when anxiety had struck.
The day before the accident, my mother and I had fought that had lead ties back to my parents divorce. Ever since her divorce three years ago, she had resorted to substance abuse and her well being had progressively gotten worse. She had become irritable and not the mom I knew years before the divorce. As we were fighting that day, all I can recall was both of us face to face yelling at each other with the topic of how my father doesn't help my siblings and me financially. Between all the fighting, it was to the point where I couldn't take it and had to call my sister for back up.
When I called my sister, my mother fled to her car and drove off; I did not see her for the rest of the day. While she was behind the wheel under the influence, she had swerved off and hit a parked car in the middle of the night. Her car was totaled and was set into the hospital over night. The next afternoon, when I found out, was when guilt set in.
If I had let her win the fight, she wouldn't have left the way she did. I had plenty of people assuring me that it was not my fault but I had a twinge that it was. I realize now, if we never had that fight she would of have never gotten better for herself. Though in that moment, between the guilt and panic, this was my own version of the transition of childhood to adulthood.
This was the time where I would either let this situation define me or strengthen me once and for all. My mothers accident was the turning point for maturity. For three unbearable years, I've let this situation regarding my parents define me for so long for who I am that this is where I had to cut all ties with the past and move forward. I've let my sister protect me for so long that this was a journey I had to embark on my own.
Move forward a year later, and things have changed for the better. I realize that without this accident my mother would have not improved herself, and I wouldn't of realized my transition of maturity. The day I realized I was reaching my adulthood was the day I had to stop being so scared and be my best self. Here I am a year later, having more confidence than I did before with a new found adult independence. I've learned that everyone is facing their own challenges and it always takes on spark of a moment to change someone once and for all.
... to tell my brother and Ime that my mother ...
In my sister' s efforts to calm me down ...
... I had fought that had lea d ties back to my parents divorce.
... topic of how my father doesn'tdidn't help my siblings and me financially.
Her car was totaled and was set into the hospital over night.
... had that fight she would of have never gotten better for herself.
My mother' s accident was ...
For three unbearable years, I'ved let this situation regarding ...
... herself, and I wouldn't ofhave realized my transition of maturity.
