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What have motivated you to study in the eight-year program? My love for Science

smarquez16 3 / 3 2  
Oct 13, 2018   #1

Rice/Baylor Medical Scholars Honors Program Essay

*What aspirations, experiences or relationships have motivated you to study in the eight-year Rice/Baylor Medical Scholars Program?
How is this topic? , Should i tie in more my love for Science and the Science Classes?

It all started in July of 2009, when my family received a phone call from my uncle kiki. He was crying as he broke the news to us that he had just been diagnosed with stage 2 Lymphoma cancer. Of course, at the time I was too young to even understand what this meant, but from the look on my parents face I knew this was not good news. My uncle lived along adventurous life but once he was diagnosed, everything changed... I saw him transition from spending times with his family in exploring life really, from watching his children and our family crowd him in his hospital room.Everyday we were praying before he had to undergo yet another session of chemotherapy and during these sessions it felt like the seconds were minutes and the minutes were hours. Slowly, I witnessed cancer sucked the life out of him, which was one of the most painful things i had to watch. From staying overnight in the hospital to the time spent by their bed-sides at home, I experienced first-hand how cancer affects people not once, but twice. I was traumatized by the fact that i was not able to do anything to help both my grandma, and my uncle because all i could really do is stay by their side praying.

However, these moments in the hospital weren't all dull. Everything about the hospital fascinated me. During their sessions, or any moment I wasn't with my family, i was out exploring the hospital and even talking to some workers. As i was older I began to have more intellectual conversations with them and I was able to get a true understanding about the role a doctor plays in one's life. This moment on I knew i wanted to become a doctor, I wanted to give back to the community. I wanted to make a change, i wanted to be able to do something that would save lives. These instances molded me into the person I am today and the person I aspire to be. Once i realized i wanted to become a doctor i began taking classes such as Medical Interventions, Human Body Systems, Anatomy, AP Biology, any course that would allow me to get a deeper knowledge of this field. Because I am so passionate about this field I want to endure the Rice/Baylor Medical Scholars Program to ensure that I can make my dream come true. At this program I can continue to reach my goal --- how can i tie in the program?
Holt [Contributor] - / 7,660 1998  
Oct 14, 2018   #2
Sydney, when you say that you were too young to understand what the illness of your uncle meant, exactly how young was that? More importantly? Why was his cancer treatment seemingly a family reunion of sorts each time? Why were you, at such a young age present for these treatments? It may be best for you to explain how old you were at the time and why you were not scared of being in the hospital while the treatment for your relative was ongoing. That would better explain your early exposure to the medical field in relation to your experiences in medicine.

Your motivation is non-existent. You sound just like any average med school interested student. There is no strong motivating factor either in relation to your exposure to cancer treatments or other patients at the hospital. The essay isn't strong enough to explain the development of your interest in medicine nor what sort of motivation you have for pursuing this career.

Some questions that could provide a motivational response collectively are:

1. What field do you want to specialize in and why?
2. How does your experience with illness in your family influence your decision regarding medical school? Remove the reference to prayers at this point and stick to medical science or science subjects. You are not trying to gain a medical scholarship from a religious institution. That constant reference is out of place in a medical science based application.

3.How do you see yourself becoming an asset to the medical field in 8 years? By any chance, do you have an ambitious cancer treatment program you hope to start? Or maybe do further research into early cancer detection and non-invasive treatments? Perhaps a career in auto-immunology research and development for cancer patients? These would be strong motivating factors to present.

Or, you could look to the objectives of the medical school for a motivation:

The Rice/Baylor Medical Scholars Program (MSP) promotes the education of students who are scientifically competent, compassionate and socially conscious.

Therefore, your motivating factors need to reflect something within these 3 areas or all 3 areas of medical study focus. Discussing your volunteer service at a hospital, hospice, or home, in relation to the aforementioned factors that could have helped to increase your interest in medicine could also help improve your essay. Try to write a new more relevant essay while you still can.

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