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Motivation essay: How an AUBG education will broaden your global perspective?


gusha 1 / -  
Dec 13, 2011   #1
Economic conditions of my country is catastrophic, there are thousands of people who are unemployed, many of them are on the edge of starvation. I know that the only solution of the problems of my country is creating jobs, employing people. But to create a jobs, which will satisfy needs of my nation, requires a good education, which only can be received abroad, in the universities like AUBG.

I realize the responsibilities which I have towards my family, my society. My participation in European Youth Parliament session showed me that I'm part of global world, part of one big family, where every country has its unique place. I know that the time will come when they will ask for my contribution in building of a common welfare and I want to be readdy for this. I have a lot of foreign friends, I meet people from different countries, I see the ground differences between them and I love it. These differences, their unique flavor make the world go round.

I think I can be beneficial for AUBG community, my social skills are high enough to interact with different kinds of people. My passionate love for art, always helps me to find the similarity between me and others, because in the art of every nation, you can see and feel the soul of the nation. I'm acquainted with the art of many countries. I love music and therefore I feel great gratitude towards British people, they gifted us Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, The Beatles, Black Sabbath, The Rolling Stones, Queen.. I think I know every English guy, because we are brought up on the same music.. I felt the soul of USA trough Bob Dylan's songs.. I adore European cinematography, films (especially classic ones) from the birthplace of cinema never disappoint me. I think in AUBG community I'll be in my element.

I have the aim in of my life, it is to become a successful businessman, to become a man who can manage his own life and who will always be over it, ride it, make the best out of his lifetime. AUBG is the only way for me to achieve my goals and make my dreams come true.
Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Dec 13, 2011   #2
Hi, I can help you with a few things:

The economic condition of my country is catastrophic, there are thousands of unemployed people, and many of them are on the edge of starvation.

I know that the only solution of the problems of my country is creating jobs, employing people. But to create a jobs, which will satisfy needs of my nation, requires a good education, which only can be received abroad, in the universities like AUBG.

Do mention that more businesses need to employ more people, which can only happen if people spend money and the business makes a profit. You kinda make it sound like jobs can appear out of thin air. The harsh reality is that, even with a college education, there are many more qualified educated people than available positions.

I know that the time will come when they will ask for my contribution in building of a common welfare and I want to be readdy for this.

This sounds confusing.

Strengthen this essay, use more specific examples of the economic problem, don't repeat yourself. Remember to present yourself in the best possible way-- show the school the you are a person with a plan, that you have long-term and short-term goals.

Good luck in school!


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