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"motivation, fashion, and compassion"; Florida State University philosophy


mandy 1 / -  
Oct 12, 2008   #1
PROMPT:
For almost one hundred years, the Latin words, "Vires, Artes, Mores" have been the guiding philosophy behind Florida State University. Vires signifies strength of all kinds - moral, physical, and intellectual; Artes alludes to the beauty of intellectual pursuits as exemplified in skill, craft, or art; and Mores refers to character, custom, or tradition. Describe how one or more of the values embodied in these concepts are reflected in your life.

ESSAY:

"Vires, Artes, Mores" is more than just a phrase meaning strength, intellectual pursuits, and character. To me this motto represents a Florida State student who excels in all three of these aspects. In my lifetime I have learned what the true meaning of strength is and I think this trait is reflected in my motivation. Intellectual pursuit is also shown in my day to day work because I have an eye for fashion and would like to further pursue this at Florida State. And then there is Character, which to me is the most important attribute, because it defines a person, and I am often "defined" as compassionate.

Motivation is something we all have, but using it is sometimes a struggle. I feel very fortunate to have motivation come so easily to me; when there is something I want I go after it. I can relate this to multiple incidents in my life. The most recent event that required my full drive was making the Varsity cheerleading squad. Although I have been cheering all my life this year would be toughest due to the fact that 80 girls were trying out, yet there were only 20 positions on the team. Throughout tryouts I stayed hopeful and put everything I had into being a Varsity cheerleader, that included; practicing every minute I had, organizing "cheer studies," in which we would practice, and hitting the gym to improve my tumbling. Now I am proud to say my motivation paid off, because being a Varsity cheerleader brought me some great memories.

"Artes," for me is exemplified through a hobby of mine, and a career I dream of pursuing. This hobby is Fashion. Ever since I can remember I've had a love for clothes, whether it was playing dress up when I was Five, or picking out my friends outfits when I was seventeen, I have always had that passion for fashion. It was just recently though I realized I could design my own clothes with the help of sewing lessons. I immediately signed myself up and have been making most of my own clothes ever since, this is something that I feel requires a sense of skill and art.

Compassion is something that I pride myself in, and I feel defines my character. I consider myself compassionate because I am always putting others before myself. One particular incident where my compassion was shown was last year in New York City. It was a very cold day and while walking through Time Square I spotted a homeless man with three dogs, two cats, and two rabbits by his side. I felt so sad and helpless for these animals, so I had to figure out a way to help. I figured the only thing I could do was give up the last of my "New York savings" which unfortunately was only about ten dollars, but I hope it helped him provide the animals with food and shelter.

In summary, "Vires, Artes, Mores" describes most students who attend Florida State, but it's how you represent these different meanings that allow you to stand out. For me it happens to be motivation, fashion, and compassion. And i feel that with these three things I can make a difference at here at Florida State.
zhangyi /  
Oct 12, 2008   #2
i don't see how your essay answers the prompt.
EF_Team5 - / 1,586  
Oct 12, 2008   #3
Good evening.

I have a few concerns for this piece. You have a good essay but I am afraid that your story will get lost in mechanical errors, mainly capitalization. To help with this, I suggest one of the books from the "Prentice Hall Guide for College Writers" series written by Stephen Reid. You can pick any of them up cheap used, or get them from the library. I think there are six in the series now, and any of them would help you here.

I agree with zhangyi in that I don't think your response answers the prompt, as you were asked to talk of strength, character, and skill, not motivation, compassion, and fashion. If you want to keep these three characteristics in the response, I suggest you find a way to link them to the ones you were asked to write about.

Regards,
Gloria
Moderator, EssayForum.com


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