Hi,
This is my draft for a nursing application. I'm not sure if I wrote enough about my motivation and if I should add more to my conclusion at the end.
What motivates you to pursue nursing as a profession? What prepares you to study in the accelerated academic environment of the ABSN program?
The pounding of my heart resonates in my ears and my eyes grow large with fear as I feel a constricting tingle in my throat. After being rushed to the emergency room, I am calmed by nurses who explain the treatment to me and assure me that I am in good hands. Due to my peanut allergy, I have visited many hospitals in various countries. No matter the difference in technology or culture, there was one common trait throughout all the hospitals that I have been a patient in. The commonality was caring. I was helped by the practice of caring in addition to curing. The care that I received saved my life and gave me a fond impression and great admiration for all of the people who worked at hospitals. Growing up, I wanted to find a cure for peanut allergies so other children would not suffer as I did. While at the University of California-Berkeley, I realized that while I was very interested in the interactions between xenobiotics and cells in the body, it was much more rewarding for me to care for others directly. I want to be able to add energy and lift the spirits of patients. As a nurse, I would be put in a unique position to interact with patients on a daily basis and to care for them as others had for me.
My motivation to become a nurse starts with me. I want to become an Emergency Department Nurse so that can care for others during a critical phase of their injury while also having a career that I love. My pursuit of becoming a nurse also stems from my parents. Neither of my parents went to college, but they have made too many sacrifices over the years to allow me to get an education. There were many vacations that they did not take and luxuries that they did not buy. As a nurse, I can have a career to be proud of, and I can also return the favor to my parents and do my best to take care of them.
The University of California- Berkeley has prepared me to study in an accelerated academic environment because I know how to set deadlines for myself to finish all of my work on time and to work efficiently. I learned how to be passionate about my work so that I can do the best job possible. At Berkeley, I never missed a deadline for an assignment or project. My most difficult time was when I had to balance three group projects, two finals, and volunteer work. Yet even with all the work, I did not cut corners in any of my responsibilities. I planned my own schedule to give myself enough time to finish everything, but also adapted to unexpected occurrences and finished everything to the best of my abilities on time. I learned over my four years at Berkeley that nothing is impossible as long as it approached with dedication, conviction, and a bit of creativity. I am also ready to study in an accelerated environment because I know that I will have support. While my parents are unable to help me with the work, they are able to aid me emotionally and give me the strength to finish.
To become a nurse would be to live my life doing something that I will be passionate about even though it is not something that others expected of me. To succeed, I will bring determination, heart, and most of all, a positive mindset.
I was helped by the practice of caring in addition to curing.---This is great!
The care that I received saved my life and left me with a fond impression and great admiration for all of the people who worked at hospitals.
As a nurse, I would be put in a unique position to interact with patients on a daily basis and to care for them as others have for me.
I want to become an Emergency Department Nurse so that I can care for others during a critical phase of their injury or illness while also having a career that I love.
I learned during my four years at Berkeley that nothing is impossible as long as it is approached with dedication, conviction, and a bit of creativity.---nice sentence!
This is a great essay! Good luck in school!
:)
There is a way to infuse it with more power... you can make it so that what you write reflects the fact that you have been reading professional journal articles about ongoing developments in nursing theory and practice.
This is like taking a vitamin for your essay: Go get 2 articles you'll really enjoy... recent articles. Read them, and then go back to the paper.
After reading the articles, you'll have fresh new ideas that come to mind while you reread the paper. Maybe you'll mention one of the articles, or maybe you'll refine your paper and intensify the meaning because of your new insights from the articles.
:-) Try it if you have time!
