Hi! I'm applying to university in denmark, but english is not my first language so I hope that somebody will help me both with grammar and content :) Thank you in advance for constructive criticism!
Living abroad when you are 15 years old changes your point of view of the world and of the future. Since when I came back to Poland, after spending summer term in Main South High School in Chicago, I realized that studying at university in other country is my dream and in the same time the best way to develop my skills and abilities. Being independent and exploring the unknown attracted my attention. After careful consideration, I decided to apply for an IT Network and Electronics Technology program at the University of Aarhus. A myriad of related factors made me want to take this step.
First of all I believe that only the international environment gives me the opportunity to growth both on an academic and a personal level. Secondly, since computers and network have become a part of human life I want to be involved in their development and what is more important fully understand and take advantage of knowledge how do they work. I feel technology is the way of the future in general ,and I wish to make it my future too. Moreover I am thrilled to have a chance to learn and improve, another language - danish, which I believe will help me with my career.
That is why, I want to dedicate next two years to study in AP degree in a specialization in Network Technology at your university.
As I previously stated , studying in Denmark won't be my first experience abroad. I have lived in USA and I spent one summer in Italy, working as an au-pair. This year I graduated Spanish class in High School No. 6 in Cracow and gained not only polish certificate of maturity but also Titulo de Bachiller. This document proves my fluency in Spanish along with wide knowledge about literature, geography and history of Spain. Furthermore I obtained Deutches Sprachdiplom which confirms my knowledge of German at the level B1.
I am an hardworking individual who is eager to be challenged. I am extremely determined, self-motivated and self-disciplined and have always sought a successful career that would engage my interests. Besides the high-school classes I was actively involved in the extra-curricular activities. In 2007/2008 I participated in the project ' Merging generations on the basics of art'. I also worked as a journalist in Internet radio ' Radio Pryzmat' for 2 years, preparing broadcasts, inviting specialists to studio and interviewing them which taught me how to work under pressure of time and how to deal with difficult situations. For 5 years, I was part of independent theater 'Freeday theater', I took part in process of writing screenplays, doing rehearsals and conducting marketing activities, which trained me not only how to reach compromise but also how to work efficiently in a team. During year 2009 and 2010 I have been a leader of the project 'activation_registration. young artists in the urban space', financed by European Union. Our work consisted in organizing workshops for children from the excluded environments, happenings which were raising awareness of the phenomenon of violence and festivals which concentrated on performances about ethnics conflicts and women objectification problem in current world. All of these activities trained me in multitasking, looking at the problem globally and helped me to understand the value of responsibility.
During my free time, I had been working also as a volunteer in Federation of Polish Food Banks and Associate of Family Support and People with Disabilities, doing all that was in my power to attract sponsors.
With my application I want to take a crucial step further towards being a successful person in career and life. Not only the possibility to study abroad, create international networks with foreign students, enhance knowledge about Information Technology and continuously consolidate my language and learning skills at partner universities, attracted my interest but also the motivating and supportive study environment I read and heard about from many graduate. I am confident that overall chance to study in Denmark will broaden my horizons and give me an opportunity to gain world class education and help me become an excellent world citizen.
so, what do you think ?
Try this - "I am a hardworking person who is avid to be tested. I am to a great degree resolved, self-inspired and self-trained and have dependably looked for a fruitful profession that might captivate my investment. Additionally the secondary school classes I was energetically included in the additional curricular exercises. In 2007/2008 I took part in the task " Merging eras on the nuts and bolts of craftsmanship'. I additionally filled in as a columnist in Internet radio " Radio Pryzmat' for 2 years, arranging telecasts, welcoming pros to studio and questioning them which taught me how to work under force of time and how to manage troublesome scenarios. For 5 years, I was part of autonomous theater 'Freeday theater', I joined in methodology of composing screenplays, doing practices and leading promoting exercises, which prepared me how to arrive at bargain as well as how to work productively in a group. Throughout year 2009 and 2010 I have been a pioneer of the task 'activation_registration. youthful specialists in the urban space', financed by European Union. Our work comprised in composing workshops for youngsters from the avoided situations, happenings which were raising familiarity with the wonder of savagery and celebrations which focused on exhibitions about ethnics clashes and ladies externalization issue in current planet. The sum of these exercises prepared me in multitasking, taking a gander at the issue all inclusive and helped me to comprehend the quality of avocation.
Throughout my available time, I had been working likewise as a volunteer in Federation of Polish Food Banks and Associate of Family Support and People with Disabilities, doing all that was in my energy to lure supports."
Insteed of
"I am an hardworking individual who is eager to be challenged. I am extremely determined, self-motivated and self-disciplined and have always sought a successful career that would engage my interests. Besides the high-school classes I was actively involved in the extra-curricular activities. In 2007/2008 I participated in the project ' Merging generations on the basics of art'. I also worked as a journalist in Internet radio ' Radio Pryzmat' for 2 years, preparing broadcasts, inviting specialists to studio and interviewing them which taught me how to work under pressure of time and how to deal with difficult situations. For 5 years, I was part of independent theater 'Freeday theater', I took part in process of writing screenplays, doing rehearsals and conducting marketing activities, which trained me not only how to reach compromise but also how to work efficiently in a team. During year 2009 and 2010 I have been a leader of the project 'activation_registration. young artists in the urban space', financed by European Union. Our work consisted in organizing workshops for children from the excluded environments, happenings which were raising awareness of the phenomenon of violence and festivals which concentrated on performances about ethnics conflicts and women objectification problem in current world. All of these activities trained me in multitasking, looking at the problem globally and helped me to understand the value of responsibility.
During my free time, I had been working also as a volunteer in Federation of Polish Food Banks and Associate of Family Support and People with Disabilities, doing all that was in my power to attract sponsors."
