I am applying to BSc program at Bocconi University in Italty. Could you have a look at my motivational letter and suggest some ways I could improve it?
Thanks a lot!
Dear Admissions Committee,
My name is ... and I am a high school graduate from ... I am writing this letter to apply to the BSc International Economics and Management at Bocconi University. As I am looking for an international university that incorporates academic excellence and extracurricular diversity, Bocconi University arises as the school of my choice. With the highly intellectual yet dynamic environment at Bocconi University, I wish to acquire necessary knowledge and skills to manage my own non-profit- organization, PINK.
Challenges have always been my fascination. I love to place myself in unfamiliar situations and discover where my limits are. That is the reason why you may find I entered in several academic competitions and engaged myself in a variety of projects. Bocconi would be a perfect fit for me to continue challenging myself in different aspects. With a reputedly rigorous curriculum in line with the ever-changing society, my intellectual curiosity will undoubtedly be satisfied. In grade 10, I established a non-profit organization called PINK, providing educational opportunities to underprivileged children and offering workshops on necessary social skills in the 21st century to the youth. As stated, "Bocconi was founded on economic and social progress with a stress on strong ethics and values". I feel that Bocconi would enormously support my vision when I created PINK: to make a better society. Moreover, a global network of over 100000 alumni in assorted careers would offer me priceless advice on how to innovate PINK day after day.
Curious, versatile and ambitious are three adjectives to describe me. From an early age, I have always been eager to know more about the world and how things function. If I am interested in any field, regardless of how much time and effort has, I am committed to finding out the answer. Thanks to my relentless curiosity, I have had a great deal opportunities to take part in various kinds of extracurricular activities as stated in my CV, from fundraising, voluntary teaching to organizing event. In each experience, I applied the boring theory to practical situation and gained hands-on insight into how the professional world resembles in the future. These ranges of activities has well-equipped me for the vigorous milieu at Bocconi and simultaneously, drives me to change the world. The projects and workshops launched by PINK have enabled me to see that the future generation of Vietnam is in desperate need of an improved educational environment. Seeing their potential being wasted, their mindset disorientated, I am inclined to take action. With the qualifications from Bocconi University, I aim to expand PINK to a greater scale, turning it into a national foundation offering help for the youth in terms of academics and orientation. I believe that this is a feasible plan, as Bocconi "prepare us to change the world, not mold us to fit in it"
I am ascertained that my academic profile, extracurricular exposure and visions are a great match for Bocconi University. In return, Bocconi would bring out the unexplored side to me, encouraging me to reach what I have aspired to.