First, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this essay. I review it for several times but somehow dry of new inspiration. I appreciate any harsh criticism on this essay!
Why climb the Mont Everest? Because it is there.
I've always wanted to make a difference. I think life is about how we influence the world. Not subdued, but challenge. If determined enough, sooner or later you would find a way to kill the monster which seems horrible at first. So when everyone suspects, I would be the one to push limit and strive for every possibility.
However, I did not born with that talent. I picked it via a struggle. One time, I was traveling with my photography club members in a remote village in Jingtang, located 150 miles away from my home city. During the trip, everyone was shocked by the scene of a local school we ran into. It was called Lianhua Elementary School and almost 60 kids were cramming in a tiny room, reading outmoded text books, wearing shabby clothes; I was astonished by the wide gap, because meanwhile, we are sitting in a big classroom with laptops. If we aspire for the same future, their chances of success are literally tiny confined in that tiny room. The pure sparkle kindled out of the children's eyes hit me with an impulse. I came up with a plan to help: gather books and money to the school to help them approach their future with knowledge paved along the journey, the journey from humble to greatness. So I named the project "Journey with Love".
However, this journey did not go off without a hitch. At first, I was excited to find two firms to sponsor, but in one week, they crushed my hope by quitting without reasons. Meanwhile, my teacher and mother thought I was stupid off to such "frivolous business" while everyone was preparing for the exam. Lack of neither financially nor spiritually supports, I got really CAUGHT UP.
Struck by helplessness, I felt I had to give up. Nonetheless, there was one supporter all along that I would never w ant to disappoint- my dad. So I explained the whole story and ask for his insights. I still remember the words he said-"Kid, if you really want something, you should go get it. No matter with or without others' help, you must hold on and figure a way." Then he fell into silence with a frown. The choice is mine. If I don't be the one to climb the mountain, no one would move the stumbling blocks for me. So I told myself I could overcome this with my wisdom and enthusiasm.
Reinjected with the power to carry on, I decided to take the lead. I acted promptly -- setting schedules, recruiting coworkers, and exploiting resources at hand for financial support. After countlessly cold calling related organizations, I formed an ally within a week and gained support from all our community. Within 4 weeks, we gathered 3000 books, 22300 RMB and even the donation of material from the US Embassy. When finally saw the happy smiles of the kids, I felt enormous satisfaction and proud. Empowered by this experience, I extended the "Journey with Love" to various regions like Tibet, Vietnam, Thailand, hoping to genuinely make a difference in the world. Though the process may be pains taking, but it surely deserve pouring my efforts.
Now my journey has transferred me from timid to brave. I learn to break free and dream big. I believe with an optimistic perspective and a firm determination, the journey could take me, just as my wish for the children, from humble to greatness. We deserve to be great as long as we strive for it.
"are literally tiny confined in that tiny room" rephrase this part.
"Lack of neither financially nor spiritually supports, I got really CAUGHT UP." you could say something like due to the lack of financial and spiritual support.../
I like your story, it's really inspirational but it needs to be more organised. There are couple of grammar mishaps.
