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'moved every year of my life': My world , how it has shaped my dreams and aspirations


loveyou2 1 / 3  
Nov 13, 2011   #1
Please help me. I'm bad at essays and would appreaciate assistance, revise please :) :

As a little girl living through fairytale dreams, I viewed the world around me as endless, limitations seemed nonexistent, and my dreams were fueled with the will to pursue them. It's easy at that age to let the illusions of "true love" and "Prince charming", fill you with happiness. My parents sacrificed everything in allowing me to live out my dreams and through all of their support I was blinded from reality. The smiles that seemed so reassuring were hiding a world of heart aching struggle. Now that I am older I realize that my life has been something short of a Disney fairytale.

I have moved every year of my life. I didn't get to grow up in home where my height was measured on the wall, or my room was designed just for me. It was hard to feel stable and safe when what was my home one day, was taken from me the next. My parents both failed to finish High School and have struggled ever since. We have been supported by my grandma as long as I can remember. Responsible for 8 kids, they could never survive without help. I grew up through many selfish tears and frustrations. Selfish because at this young age I didn't realize the valuable life lessons I was learning. I observed and was taught that all my family had to hold on to was the power of love. This kept us strong and together. We didn't have the valuable material things, but were able to find value in the most important thing, each other. My parents did their best to make the most of it, and I grew up with the teachings that this life didn't happen by chance and that I could control where my life leads. Growing up this way has provided me with a better understanding of what's important in life. It has blessed me with the ability to have a drive for whatever aspirations I set my mind to.
whoau49 4 / 10 1  
Nov 14, 2011   #2
Oh ho! My friend has written something very close to what you have written, which I believe is self-progression and self-realization. But the one mark of difference is that he has used time as a factor. He showed progress, from his childhood to his years now, and included events he encountered during his years that helped him develop.

I believe that development is a crucial component in any essay. For example, an argumentative paper requires stages to explain ones ideas. It needs reasoning and backing it up with evidence. Maybe you should illustrate specific examples of how you grew from your point A to point B, by using personal anecdotes to support your claims.

Hope that helped
OP loveyou2 1 / 3  
Nov 14, 2011   #3
Thank You :) That helped alot :)
OP loveyou2 1 / 3  
Nov 20, 2011   #4
REVISED PLEASE HELP :):):):):):):)

As a little girl living through fairytale dreams, I viewed the world around me as endless, limitations seemed nonexistent, and my dreams were fueled with the will to pursue them. It's easy at that age to let the illusions of "true love" and "Prince charming", fill you with happiness. Unfortunately, my parents sacrificed everything in allowing me to experience that utopian life. Through their magic tricks I became oblivious to reality. The smiles on my parent's faces which seemed so reassuring were hiding a world of heart aching struggle.

I can't count how many times I heard the words "we can't pay the rent, were going to have to move." As a child these words meant nothing to me, I would fuss, throw tantrums and get mad at my parents. Not being able to control the situation I would reluctantly arrive at our new house, watching my parents try to make the experience as blissful as possible. After the initial shock I was always able to adapt, but it seemed as soon as I said "this is my home", I had to leave.

If it wasn't one thing it was another. A couple days before Christmas 2009, I woke up to the words "your grandpa passed away last night". I was a little older then and understood that we had lost the last person with hope in our family. From that day on life seemed to get harder, and the will to even try anymore grew weaker. My parents stopped sugar coating everything and at a tender age life hit me like a ton of bricks. I quickly become aware of the evil in the world, and to be honest it scared me.

Growing up made life unbearable, and my only escape was school. I loved being there and it became my home. I haven't missed a day since fifth grade. It was at school where I was able to realize my true passion in life. I remember seeing a poster at my middle school that read "auditions for the school musical". I knew it would mean more time at school so I auditioned. I was fortunately cast in it and soon realized that I couldn't possibly do anything else in my life but theater. After that I auditioned for everything that came my way, and now the drama department at my current high school has become my family.

Now as a high school senior, when I look back on my life I feel blessed to have come from the world I did. Even if I didn't get to grow up with a home where my height was measured on the wall, or with the freedom to buy anything I wanted, I realize that we did have one thing. I was taught that all my family had to hold on to was the power of love. This kept us strong and together. We were able to find value in the most important thing, each other. Growing up this way has provided me with a better understanding of what's important in life. It has blessed me with the ability to have a drive for whatever aspirations I set my mind to. I now have the drive to make a better life for myself so my future family can live out the fairytale I always dreamed of.


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