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Here, in the movie theater is where I feel the most satisfaction, the most joy, the most comfort


amberkb 1 / -  
Aug 22, 2014   #1
I need help with my essay I dont know what to do with it. I know its missing something but i dont know what it is. Im not sure if I should omit the 3rd paragraph or not. Tell me what you think!

Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there and why is it meaningful to you
It's dim and all I can see is the big screen in front of me and the people seating in front of me. I am in the very top row in the middle, excited for the movie to begin. I drink in the delicious aroma of movie theater popcorn that is in the air. The excitement of the crowd is palpable as all the lights go down. I sit back on the scratchy cushioned seat and drift into another world as the movie begins. And I begin to escape from the real world.

Here, in the movie theater is where I feel the most satisfaction, the most joy, the most comfort. This is probably the one place I come and feel safe instantly; I am blocked off from the real world and the chaos it contains. I love how in this place I can express any emotion I want. I'm so comfortable here I can laugh, cry, get anger and even snort like pig no matter who is around. Just by doing something as simple as siting in a movie theater seat I can travel the world, go to the Wild West, go into outer space, and even travel back in time. In this seat, I feel as if I can go anywhere at any time. In this seat, I am able to see everyday people so through everyday struggles, two people fall in love, see a superhero save the world, see a spy save the government. I can see the world in different perspectives and how everyone has a different interpretation of life. I can do all of this just by buying a ticket and siting down.

The movie theater has always been my favorite place since I was a child. Movies have always seemed so realistic to me when I whether it was a cartoon or actual people. I remember going to the movies theater was to see toy story 2 and after I saw that movie that I thought that my toys could talk. Boy was I wrong. I got mad when they didn't't talk back to me. It took me about two weeks for me to realize they didn't talk. I've always had an interesting imagination and movies made it expand making my childhood fun.

I love when I am in the movie theater and I am able to relate to a character so much that I feel a connection between me and them. When I am watching a movie, it seems so realistic like a feel every emotion and I'm experiencing what's happening to them. I feel as if I can have super powers like superman or I can fall deeply in love with someone like Jake and Rose in Titanic. When I watch movies it seems as if anything is possible, like life is full with endless possibilities.

As I watch the story in front of me proceed, I examine the crowded theater. The story in the movie makes me think about the stories of the people around me. The characters in the movie are everyday people just like me and the strangers next to me. I grow curious wondering if they go through struggles like the characters in this movie, I realize everyone has their own story it's just not in the form of a movie. If I can relate to these characters I know they can too. This movie theater makes have the ability to have open mind and makes me think, do people really fall in love like this?, will I really get superpowers if a spider bites me?, was this really what people like in the 1930s?

The lights turn back on. The lights illuminate the room. The journey is over and I'm back in reality. And it's time to leave the place where I can escape from reality. The place that is my safe haven, the place is I am perfectly content.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Aug 23, 2014   #2
The essay itself is already very good content wise. It just needs to expand a bit more towards the end part. The paragraph that explains how you are observing the other people in the cinema. How is watching the movie with these people a meaningful experience for you? Surely you are thinking of some things as you observe them. Pull back on the information about what you are thinking as you watch the movies. Instead, talk about how the movies help you deal with real life. Your interaction with other people and problems that you might find resolutions to as you watch these movies and observe the audience with you. Those are the experiences that make the movie viewing experience meaningful to you.
ironhand 6 / 18  
Aug 24, 2014   #3
Hi. Alas, English is not my first language, so I will try to comment from the position of logic.
1)It's dim and all I can see is the big screen in front of me and the people seating in front of me .
Maybe: It's dim and all I can see is the big screen and the people seating in front of me ?
2) I agree with vangiespen, it would be better for the essay if you tried to decrease the first part(where you talk about your feelings) and give more attention to the end; explain, how the movies help you to better understand people.

3)It can be OK for an admission officer, but I somewhat did not like the sentence about "escape from reality". Try to replace it with something like "explore new worlds"; for me "escape" really sounds unwell

h#t#t#p://mi#tad#missio#ns.or#g/blogs/e#ntry/how-to-w#rite-a-college-e#ssay is a very useful link. {just remove #}

Sorry if it was too harsh. I think your theme is good, but the essay needs certain editing.
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Aug 24, 2014   #4
It's dim and all I can see is the big screen in front of me and the shadows of the people seating in front ofseatedaround me.

I am in the very top row in the middle, excited for the movie to begin.

Here I am, waiting excitedly for the curtain to roll up.

It's dim and all I can see is the big screen in front of me and the people seating in front of me. I am in the very top row in the middle, excited for the movie to begin. I drink in the delicious aroma of movie theater popcorn that is in the air. The excitement of the crowd is palpable as all the lights go down. I sit back on the scratchy cushioned seat and drift into another world as the movie begins. And I begin to escape from the real world.

Well, I don't know whether you have a word count. However, I feel you should cut down on the description about the movie theater of the one you've done above. You need to relate yourself, your feelings and connections to the place more.
Iyeshaferguson 5 / 11  
Aug 24, 2014   #5
This is really good, it gave me a great visual!

Try to enphasize on more detail of the theater, like describe the comfort of the seats, how comfortable you feel sitting next to strangers because you know you have something in common: the movie.
d96nguyen 5 / 11 4  
Aug 25, 2014   #6
can you show me how to edit a writing on this website like other people?
vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Aug 25, 2014   #7
First highlight the section you want to edit. Then use the menu that can be found at the top of the editing box when you type a message to mark the changes that you want to make.
tdshah1 5 / 8 4  
Aug 25, 2014   #8
good job, but I think you can be more specific. many lines like "I'm able to feel every connection between them" or "I've always had an interesting imagination" are too vague and tell, not show.


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