Hi, I would really appreciate any help on my common application essay on a topic of my choice
Nothing could ever express my feelings more accurately at that point of time other than the portrayal of the three-eyed aliens from toy story, in the scene where they were trapped in the claw machine. I had just begun middle school and I felt trapped in a sea of homogeneity: all the students seemed to have similar backgrounds, tastes, likes, things and above all, desires. I was overwhelmed by the need, not to fit in, but to stand out in my own way. Ironically, I was exactly like all of them regardless of how much I resented it. I did nothing to change myself. All I ever did was to just hope that one day, I would be chosen by the claw and escape. I wanted to find myself and where I belonged in the world I saw from behind the tainted rose colored glass.
When the claw caught hold of me one day, I embraced it. I thought it was my destiny to be someone great and that was why the claw has presented me with the opportunity for my escape the homogeneity of the world I was in. My parents thought that it was about time I learnt independence; they enrolled me in an international school in Singapore.
When the rose colored glass no longer existed, I was struck by both the familiarity of the place and how different it seemed. I always thought that I would get an epiphany of some kind and would just know what I had to do as soon as I escaped to find myself but it turns out that I did not. I promised myself that I would do anything to be different and stand out. I tried many different things in vain, from cooking, which I knew nothing about, to softball and even Chinese calligraphy but they were not for me. It was frustrating for me to be unable to find who I was and where I belonged, but from that I learnt my most important lesson: I always had to work hard and give my best no matter what.
However, I was determined and I persisted with the belief that "what does not kill you make you stronger." I finally found out who I was meant to be, after being president of the interact club, a few economics lessons on development and participating in model united nations; I aspire to join the World Bank as part of their development team.
I realized how important uncertainty, discovery and making mistakes were for me. Without them, I would have had neither hope nor ambition. I learnt about consequences and making the right choices, about confidence and standing up for what you believe, about diversity and tolerance, about leadership and compassion. I did also learn what my parents had wanted: independence. I am no longer trapped in a sea of homogeneity: My culture, my beliefs and my experiences make me unique.
THANK YOU (:
My parents thought that it was about time I learnt independence; they enrolled me in an international school in Singapore. - learned
I learnt about consequences and making the right choices, about confidence and standing up for what you believe in , about diversity and tolerance, about leadership and compassion. - learned
I did also learned what my parents had wanted me to : independence. I am no longer trapped in a sea of homogeneity:
This is a good essay!
It was a good essay, but I think you can make it excellant. The thing is that you get a bit of who you are in this essay, but I you can of don't focus on one specific thing, which I think you should. Tell how being president made you better leader/character and describe more in detail how moving impacted and changed you in a positive way. The similie between your life and the rose colored glass was good!
