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Muddy Water - getting there is part of the fun - Commonapp most content essay


jricha 2 / 11 1  
Dec 27, 2014   #1
Muddy Water. The journey there is part of the fun. Commonapp 'most content' essay

describe a place or environment where you feel most content. Why is it meaningful to you

I move with the rhythm of the water, i hear my paddle splash. I hear the sounds of rushing rapids. I tighten my body, brace for the rapid, and put an active paddle in the water. I shriek pure thrill and joy as I successfully navigate the rapid. This is what I experience in my place of contentment. I experience adventure, joy, bliss, and adrenaline while floating atop South River ,a muddy river stretching south of Atlanta. Its forest lined lush green in summer and has the most beautiful fall foliage. Some say it looks nasty due to the muddy water, but I think its beautiful. In McDonough, there are technically no official put in spots, but that doesn't mean it cannot be kayaked. Getting there involves strapping on my Chacos, and trekking through the woods, down to a muddy bank. Getting in the water involves standing in mud where I sink to my ankles. The journey there is part of the fun.

Once I am on the water, I am free. No matter how stressful my day was, once I'm on the water, I forget all about it. All I can think about is the beauty surrounding me and not getting stuck on rocks. The feeling as I paddle is pure enjoyment. The laughter when I go through a rapid is the purest laugher. The only way out is the bridge two to four hours downstream depending on the water levels and how fast I'm paddling. Its a perfect escape.

Good company is always had on the river. I love laughing with friends down the calm sections, and the pure adrenaline through the rapids. I love the sore feeling in my arms after I try to race down a stretch with my friends. Its really always a competition to see who can go faster even if its unspoken. For me, feeling sore is a sign of a good time. Its a place I have made numerous memories. I will never forget hearing thunder and paddling as fast as I possibly could do avoid getting stuck in a downpour. However, we did not paddle fast enough and ended up having to sit on the side and wait out the storm. We were soaked and cold, but I would do it again.

Its uncharted territory that I love exploring. Very little information is available online about this section of the river. The first time, my equally clueless friend and I literally had no idea what would be around the corner, but the unknown was exciting. For all we knew, we could be going headfirst into class IV rapids. Luckily, there were only small rapids. I'm an explorer. I want to find out whats around the corner and climb this and that. South River gives me a grounds to truly explore something that had only been explored very little. Even though I want to pursue a career in medicine, I think about exploring cavities of the body the way I explore the outdoors, and not being afraid of whats around the corner. I love pulling my kayak to the side and exploring the rock formations. I also love knowing the rapids and guiding others through them. I have a free spirit personality, and this river allows me to embrace it.
Ortizsam18 1 / 4 2  
Dec 27, 2014   #2
You do a good job at painting a vivid image for your readers, however, try to use complete sentences. Try not to start so many sentences with "I" or "It." Think outside the box. Also, think of a more inviting opening sentence that will lure your readers in. Make them want to read more. But overall, good job.
guyunemployed 2 / 2  
Dec 27, 2014   #3
A lot of this is telling, not showing. You need to show why this place is meaningful to you. Try telling a story associated with this place, because it really gives the reader a sense of why this place is important to you.
sz697 1 / 2  
Dec 28, 2014   #4
Don't start your essay with a restate of the prompt. You need to go direct into describe all aspect of the river then explain how you feel there and the background of why you picked this one place. Describe all the positive sides of the river. You have to add a lot of personal feeling into the essay. But your essay has really good concept. I liked the fact you used a river that is really unqiue place to describe because so much can happen in a river. Thanks for you help on my essay. I will have a new one up soon.
nada1998 5 / 8  
Dec 31, 2014   #5
Good company is always had on the river

"good company is always found in the river"
The part were you go my "equally clueless friend" should be omitted like the whole sentence or worded differently.
Jadewan 1 / 1  
Dec 31, 2014   #6
You mention both joy and sore you've experienced on the Muddy water, finally all the same spirit applies to your career, it's very enjoyable to read the article. Just i think maybe the sentences you wrote can be more parallel like below one which seems a little duplicated.Because there're too many "I" when i begun to read.

I move with the rhythm of the water, i hear my paddle splash. I hear the sounds of rushing rapids.


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