IneedYourhelp 1 / - Jan 25, 2011 #1Hello guys! I wrote my personal statement within a few minutes and right now, i need your help as quick as possible because the deadline for PSU is february 1.Any suggestions on how to make this personal statement better?Thank you!Being brought up in a multicultural environment is a great advantage for I believed that education couldn't found only within the four walls of academes'. Culturally and spiritually you will be enhance. I grew up in a very conservative nation but this never hinders my intellectual and emotional health growth. School in United Arab Emirates are enhancing us all aspects learning, personality development as well as our moral upliftments. My education prepares me to face challenges in my life especially on the field of interest where I will be focusing on my university life. Besides from academics discipline and social graces are well enhanced. My family brought me up in a very well balance life which made me a better person. Since high school I became very productive and dependable individual. I strongly believed if I could make on that stage, I could be much better more now or on the future because every day is one step closer to my vision and another learning experience based on my life experiences either attained in school, home or based on my experiences.
chunf 5 / 26 Jan 25, 2011 #2Hi there,my english is not that good, so i cannot give you any advice on the grammar. (I did see some gramatical error though)Anyway, is there a word limit for this personal statement? After reading your essay, I felt that your essay is too general. It is lack of proof and evidence. For example, you write that "School in United Arab Emirates are enhancing us all aspects learning, personality development as well as our moral upliftments.", but you didn't write about how it enhance you.I hope this helps. Please give comments on my essay too, thank you.
