Hey guys, I just need someone to look over my paper and tell me what they think. Please feel free to edit, add things and correct any mistakes I have made. Thank you! :)
Here is the prompt:
Describe an activity, interest, experience, or achievement in your life (this could be a book, movie, or an activity or experience at work, home, or school) that has been particularly meaningful to you.
Here is my response:
Multiple sclerosis can affect anyone at any given time. Multiple sclerosis, also known as MS is an autoimmune disease that affects the brain and spinal cord. Basically it attacks the nervous system causing such things as numbness of body parts, paralysis or vision loss. Most people who have MS don't do much because of the disease and how it affects them. My brother has MS and I see how it affects him and by seeing what it does to him I thought no one would ever be able to work with having MS. Recently I found out my cosmetology teacher has MS, I would have never imagined she had multiple sclerosis until she got sick and told me.
I haven't known my teacher for long, but from the amount of time I have known her, I have seen she doesn't let MS control her life. She has been a hairdresser for about 10 years and is still learning more and more everyday. Her being a teacher, she has to be going 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, every week, constantly helping her students. She is always happy to run and help whoever needs help. Having MS makes it hard for people to be going, and going all day. People with multiple sclerosis need to have time to relax, regain the energy loss, and just re-cooperate. Being a teacher, you don't have much time to do that.
Up until two weeks ago she acted completely normal, like nothing was ever wrong with her. She got sick and soon things went downhill, she was gone for about a week and a half because she was so sick, all she could do is lay down all day and do nothing. She's back at school now, still sick, but she's still pushing through and working hard all day. She has inspired me to give a hundred and ten percent to everything I do, and to accomplish all my goals in life. If she can do everything she wants in life while having MS, I can do anything I want too.
My brother also has multiple sclerosis, he has accomplished a lot in life too. He doesn't go to work everyday like a normal person would though.. He is in a band, who is currently on tour in Europe. I have seen him go through a relapse and be strong, push through and be better again. A relapse is when he gets really sick, he can barely move, he gets double vision, his equilibrium is off, it's hard for him to digest his food, and half his body goes numb. Seeing someone go through that and be alright in the end makes you really think you got it good, and you'll be okay no matter what.
He's been in his band for 10 years, and they finally got a break last year and got signed to a label, and its all finally paying off. Even with being sick he was persistent and still kept going on and trying with the band, never giving up and always being positive about things.
Seeing these two people in my life be persistent and go through these obstacles has inspired me in life to work hard, knowing that I can have the courage to accomplish any goals I have set for myself. They both have helped me so much in life by showing me anything is possible, I can do whatever I want. They've showed me that even though I may think things are bad, they really aren't, and everything will be okay in the end.
My brother was also diagnosed with MS about ten years ago, he was around fourty at the time, and ran a small business in Vienna. He's given that up now and enjoys watching his eight year old grow. I haven't met him in five years or more now, but hope to shortly when he will visit us in India, where I am, in a few months. Talking with him over Skype, or hearing about his condition from other family members, I try to imagine how his life may actually be like. I therefore read with much interest what you wrote and am grateful for that.
Good luck with school.. a nice essay.