Okay here goes -Essay 1:
Your essay started at a seemingly trivial experience, but by the end of the essay it shows that it had a much more impact on you. Great job! It was really amusing in bits. However, I am still not completely convinced if this shows your growth as an intellectual to its full capacity. May be I am wrong, but it's well written nevertheless! :) :)Essay 2:
This one is really amusing. :) I like it! I suggest you get rid of "Hello Future Roommate" cause I have seen it in almost every Stanford essay! :o Start with something really off the regular. It would definitely elevate your essay more!
Therefore you should expect that I'm not a sore winner but can sometimes be a sore loser, but I'm sure you'll warm up to me. I am also a very opinionated person so I'm sure we'll enjoy some heated debates. I am open to knowledge, so I'm sure I'll be able to learn from you and hopefully share in your interests too.
there's nothing wrong with this, but I you've used "I'm sure" three times in three consecutive sentences. It kind of puts your writing down and makes it sound less cohesive.
If you could rephrase these sentences, it would help! :)Essay 3:
This essay is fine, but somewhere I feel it's not on par with your other two essays. For you - it's family, friends, love, soccer and most importantly happiness that matters most right? These are really great things to write about. If you could work at this essay more I think you would be great! :)
I hope I could help you enough!
PLEASE read the edited
response to my commonapp essay and critique it if you could. I would really appreciate your help! Thanks!