Can people quickly read over and proof read my nyu supplement? (specifically the second one)
Tell us why you have chosen the above campus (using a maximum of 700 characters-spaces and punctuation included) - Mine is 697
The multitude of resources - ranging from libraries like the Bobst Library to student centers - available at NYU New York has drawn me to the campus. In addition, unique to campus, is La Maison Française, a center of French culture in New York. Having studied French for four years, I have grown an interest for French culture and would love to partake in attending lectures, film screenings and other programs at the center. Additionally, the vast number of internship and community service opportunities available at New York has convinced me that - at the NYU New York campus - I would be able to extend my academic pursuits by gaining valuable experiences outside the spectrum of the classroom.
A. NYU's global network provides students with hundreds of academic areas of interest for students to cultivate their intellectual curiosity and to help achieve their career goals. Whether you are entirely undecided about your academic plans or you have a definitive program of study in mind, what are your own academic interests? Feel free to share any thoughts on any particular programs or how you might explore those interests at NYU on any of our campuses.
Although not completely sure of what I intend on studying at college, I know that I am interested in the field of international relations and in languages. At an early age, I was constantly exposed to the phrase "Free Tibet", not knowing what it exactly meant. As I grew older, I came to understand the true implications of the phrase, that it was a cry for political, religious and social rights in Tibet, and so became determined to make a difference. I realized that the only way change could be brought to Tibet was from the outside world and that I could make a difference myself by becoming of aware of this world. This realization has led me to become interested in International Relations, join my high school Model United Nations Club, and attend international Model UN conferences. Therefore, I hope to expand on my interest and my goal by possibly studying International Relations at the College of Arts and Sciences. Additionally, my interest in the study of languages arose when I took Spanish for one year after having finished French. I quickly found Spanish class to be interesting as I noticed striking parallels between Spanish and French. Therefore, this experience has made me fascinated at the similar properties that certain languages share. Thus, I would like to also expand on this interest and possibly study linguistics at the NYU.
B. What intrigues you? Tell us about one work of art, scientific achievement, piece of literature, method of communication, or place in the world (a film, book, performance, website, event, location, etc.), and explain its significance to you.
- I am really lost/confused with this one.
Do I need to talk about a specific piece of literature or could I just say that am intrigued by short stories and describe how I get to express my emotions through short stories (which would be the "explaining its significance")
Thanks, all the feed back would help
As for the essay, you have great content, but could use some grammatical tweaking.
. At an early age, I was constantly exposed to the phrase "Free Tibet", not knowing what it exactly meant. As I grew older, I came to understand the true implications of the phrase, that it was a cry for political, religious and social rights in Tibet, and so became determined to make a difference. I realized that the only way change could be brought to Tibet was from the outside world and that I could make a difference myself by becoming of aware of this world
into As I grew older the the true implications of the phrase became much more clear. The cries for political, religious, and social rights in Tibet were what embodied the soul of that phrase.
However, I think you should rethink this sentence, it is a bit too political( personal hint: you never know who's reading your essays, although highly improbable what if it's some Maoist Communist Chinese immigrant) , and sounds cliched in a sense that I want to change the world by becoming more aware.
The multitude of resources ranging from libraries like the Bobst Library to student centers available at NYU New York has drawn me to the campus (WHAT CAMPUS). No dashes required
In addition, La Maison Francaise, a center of French culture in New York, is unique to the campus (WHAT CAMPUS) .
Having studied French for four years, I have developed an interest for French culture and would love to attend lectures, film screenings and other programs at the center.
Additionally, the vast number of internship and community service opportunities available at New York has convinced me that - at the NYU New York campus There we go, mention it in the beginning - I wouldwill be able to extend my academic pursuits by gaining valuable experiences outside the spectrum of the classroom.
Did you edit this for grammar at all? It was a grammatical mess. A quick google search of NYU New York Campus brought up the bobst Library and La Maison Francaise. I am almost positive half of the students that chose this campus will write about the things you wrote about. Community service and research/internships are brought up a lot. Bring up city life, how the residence halls are unique. Why does it appeal to YOU, do not write about what you googled.
I think focusing on International Relations is good enough, there is literally no tangent that I could think of to link it to Language. Other than probably cultural awareness. You emphasize International Relations so much that adding Language would be like: "I really like to eat apples. They are so delicious. Every time I see an apple, it makes my mouth water. Oh man, would I really love an apple. Snakes are scary."
