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About myself, academic objectives, goals, reasons to study in the USA

abdos89 1 / -  
Feb 1, 2011   #1
i'm writing an essay which should include these details:

- Yourself
- Your academic objectives,
- Your goals in terms of your field of study and personal development, and
- The reasons why you wish to pursue them in the USA and the type of program you hope to pursue and how it relates to your interests and future objectives.

here is my essay:

I grew up in a healthy family. I have 1 brother and 1 sister older than me and 2 brothers and one sister younger than me. So my childhood days were fantastic. My parents both had a stable careers and this provided us with more opportunities to learn what we desired to.

When I was twelve I joined a Karate Club and it was interested time that I spent in learning fighting tactics. I was playing until I got a brown belt, I've stopped when I entered the university and I'm planning to continue when I graduate from university

When I was fifteen my uncle bought a car and gave it to me as a gift of graduation from intermediate school. Well, first I thought it will be fun to have a car when you are 15 but as of the beginning of the academic year our driver had to leave the country and the I took the responsibility delivering my brothers to schools every day since my dad was busy with his job. I was happy to be able to help my family in such a thing.

In 2006, I went to Canada when I was 17 years old. I have stayed there 3 months to learn English and to explore the world and to see different cultures.

I'm also a big fan of fishing, every two months I arrang a meeting with my friends to go to fish in a village called Al-Rayes which is about 180 km from my hometown al-Madina.

My main goal is to build my own company and manage it myself
Besides having flying colors in my activity, I also did well in my education. I graduate from high school with a Distinction. I joined king Fahd University for Petroleum and Minerals (KFUPM) in 2007 which is the best University in Saudi Arabia. And until now I doing very good. After I graduate from KFUPM, I'm planning to apply for leader companies like P&G and work there for 3 - 5 years to have experience and then I will complete my education outside the kingdom and get a master degree in MBA. Through this program I will have a big chance in getting a job in such a company. I know that the road ahead will not be easy for me, but I cannot stop here. I need to move on in order to reach my goals. My success in the future lies in my own hands.

USA is a head of us in education, so I think this is a big opportunity for me to learn from a nation like USA. Almost all leader companies are looking for leader's worker so this program will be very helpful in developing my leadership skills so that I can join one of those companies and become a leading employee.

I hope that if you have any correction or additional note just tell me,
thank you

EF_Susan - / 2,364 12  
Feb 8, 2011   #2
I have 1 brother and 1 sister older than me and 2 brothers and one sister younger than me.

Hi Suhaib, I just wanted to tell you this sentence gave me a cool experience. Good poetry always gives a cool experience. Use one and two instead of 1 and 2, though... it looks nicer and is more hypnotic! :-)

This is my lesson for you: Always do this one thing after you write an essay. Read what you have written, and find the unique lesson. There should be some unique concept or lesson that makes the essay worth writing. In this essay, you tell all about your interests and plans, but you should find a theme that is the unique lesson.

For example, the movie star wars has a theme about good always triumphing over evil. Your theme might be an idea that is important to you. What is the unique insight you would like to share, the insight that makes you want to live the kind of life you want to live? Try to write a perfect sentence that expresses your truth, and add that sentence to the first paragraph.

It is like giving your essay a vitamin. :-)

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