Mysterious Future Goals: Sentence structures and grammars are my prior enemy.

Below are 2 paragraph in my personal statement. First paragraph was about my experiences and what I have learned from it. Second paragraph was about my future goals as a Chemical Engineer. I hope that you can help me on my sentence structure and my grammars as I am not very good in English. I hope the contents are good enough. I sincerely ask for your kind advise, thank you!

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Working with a business entrepreneur is fascinating, be detail-orientated is the prior skills to acquire, to think of the outcome and be creative during work is important as well. Dealing with various personalities has always been a good training for me to be sociable. I have experience working in a Japanese Restaurant where I learn a diversity of culture from the workers and customers there. They share their country and their experience with me which allows me to see the world in the simplest way.

In the near future, I could see myself working on environmental work that included renewable resources and green process. Our world is now badly polluted, many efforts of saving the environment are enforced now but it will be not enough to compensate to the harm we have did. Fruit yields had been badly affected by the unpredictable weather few years back due to pollutions. My father, who is a fruit planter and also the breadwinner in my family, struggled through that period of time so our family did go through a hard time. This has leads me to read on the achievements made for a better future by professionals around the world. I hope to be a part of the workforce to make more difference to the world.

Working with a business entrepreneur is fascinating, be detail-orientated is the prior skills to acquire, to AND think of the outcome(.)andbe BEING creative during work is important as well. Dealing with various personalities has HAVE always been a good training for me to be sociable. I have experience working in a Japanese Restaurant where I learnED a diversity of culture from the workers and customers there. They shareD their country and their experience with me which allows ED me to see the world in the simplest way.

... efforts of saving the environment are enforced now but it will be not enough to compensate to the harm we have did DONE.

... struggled through IN that period of time(,) so our family did go through HAS UNDERGONE a hard time. This has leads me to read on GET the achievements made for a better future TO BE A professionals WORKER around the world .

Denise, the first problem with your essays is that you did not separate the topics by prompt so that we can read each essay properly. At the moment, these 2 essays seem to be merged into one, making it difficult for us to properly review it. Most specially since all you have written for each prompt is just an introduction.

Neither introduction really speaks of anything of substance in the essay. It does not reflect nor give an idea as to what the main topic of the essay will be. There is only one way to fix the problems that exist in these essays and that is for you to write the complete essays per prompt and then post them, with the prompt attached, as separate essays at this forum. Reviewing your essays for content will be impossible if you don't do that first.

Remember, we can't help you if you only have draft introductions written. We need to read the whole essay draft and we need to know the full prompt specifications so that we can analyze the content of the essay in the proper manner.