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"Nam is an enthusiastic and humorous guy" - Essay on Myself


NickTheRapper 1 / -  
Dec 1, 2012   #1
Hi guys!
My name is Nick. I am from Vietnam. I study english by my own so my writing is not really good.
Recently, I've seen a very nice english speaking contest and I decided to take part in.
However, paticipants initially have to write and essay about yourself (150 - 300 words) and submit via email.
I spent a few days doing the essay and I've just finished it.
Now I really need your help in proofreading it before I submit to the contest oganizer.

Thanks a lot.
Nick.

Here is my essay:

Essay about yourself.

" Nam is an enthusiastic and humorous guy", " Nam is open minded and has tons of fun to be with". These are references which I received from majority of people I have met before whether they are local Vietnameses or foreigners.

I'd love to meet new people to listen to their stories as well as sharing my own stories. Therefore, I realize that everyone has his hidden talents and those deserve to be learnt. Whenever I have a conversation, I usually joke people around in order to make them laugh. I'd like to create a friendly and informal atmosphere where everybody gets together and has fun. I myself live to find the joy.

My name is Nam. I am 23 years old. I am a third year student in Business Administration major. I'm currently living in Tan Phu district. I like making new friends, listening to music, playing sports...

I am good at communication. Few years ago, I was a consultant and I did some business negotiations pretty well. Also, I am good at English. I have participated " The Open Challenge - English Contest" in Open University where I was awarded third prize. However, I am not really good at studying finance but I am striving to get over it. My future goal is to run my own enterprise and do business internationally. By studying Business Administration together with my English, I am step by step achieving that goal.

Eventually, I know that life has many obstacles which prevent me from reaching my targets. Nevertheless, once I try my best, I will be able to overcome them and be fulfilled again. Motivation is an essential factor but how you maintain it is even more essential. Thus, I am supposed to learn how to maintain it everyday.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Dec 1, 2012   #2
My name is Nam and I am 23 years old . Business has always been my interest because I believe for being a successful businessman you should know about people with different cultural backgrounds in addition to academic education. For this reason, I decided to studyI am a third year student in Business Administration majorand, now, I am in the third year of my study . (It would be better to say something about your neighborhood before giving its name. For example :"I currently live in a very lovely and beautiful district called Tan Phu, where I built all my childhood and adolescence memories)I'm currently living in Tan Phu district . I know myself as a sociable person and because of this trait I have many friends around meI like making new friends, . L istening to music, playing sports are also my favorite hobbies that I spent xx hours a day on them

I think you should start the essay with what I quoted above. In fact, you should introduce yourself first, and then talk about your personality.

In addition, I think you should talk about your hobbies and your sociability where you are talking about your personality and the things that you like. Write why you like these things and why you listen to music, for example, in your free time.
ellenk3112 1 / 3  
Dec 9, 2012   #3
Try to improve not only your English, but also your writing skill.
My suggestion about your essay is to talk more about yourself (such as your hobbies, talent, your interest, etc), not just your academic. It will get more attentions from the audience.

Good luck with your contest.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 9, 2012   #4
My name is Nick. I am from Vietnam. I study english by my own so my writing is not really good.
Recently, I've seen a very nice english speaking contest and I decided to take part in.

Interesting.... Yes, we would help you win Nick! :D

" Nam is an enthusiastic and humorous guy", " Nam is open minded and has tons of fun to be with". These are references which I received from majority of people I have met before whether they are local Vietnameses or foreigners.

Well... The first line is very interesting if it is your own idea.... The second line does not make any sense for this essay. However, I believe you need to present it in a creative manner : )

This is how I suggest;
Nam is my name and I am an extrovert in every sense. I love meeting new people, making new friends, talking nonstop,joking, laughing, playing games and be with people all the time.

If you like my way, just let me know... I'll try to help you win :D
qasderwdw 9 / 36 1  
Dec 9, 2012   #5
playing games and be with people all the time.

wouldn't it be: "being with people"? haha
sorry if I'm wrong
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Dec 9, 2012   #6
sorry if I'm wrong

wow... yes you are right... sorry for the miss :p


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