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How my name inspired me to create my own identity - Common App Essay


hellstein 2 / 3 1  
Dec 24, 2018   #1
Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Namesake



"Hurbal", "Birbal", "Billbar", "Whirball", - No, these are not just obscure words. These are my names. These names are not called out of mockery, but rather they are the consequences of having a common but unheard of name in a distant land.

When I asked my father why people would not say my name correctly, he answered, "It is because your name is kept after a great man whom most of them do not recognize." I was curious to know who this great man was. I inquired further and he replied, "The man was one of the pioneers of the first human flight -Wilbur Wright." Having discovered the meaning behind my name, I tried to convince others that my name was not different or funny.

It was during a summer in ******* when I finished my classes and returned home. When I opened the door, I saw a book lying on the table that I had not seen before. The book roughly translates to "Stars of Science." As most of fourth-grade kids do, I opened the book to see the pictures. I riffled through the black and white pages until I saw a familiar name- Wilbur Wright. My expectations of the great man that my father used to talk about plummeted suddenly, at least in terms of his appearance.

Later that night after having dinner, my mother went out to wash the dishes while my father was in the bedroom just a few steps away from the kitchen, since our kitchen, bedroom, library or any other room in a typical house was just a single room. My father asked me to get the new book he brought, so I took the book out from the bookshelf and got onto the bed with him. My father opened the book and, unsurprisingly, he turned to the biography of 'Wilbur Wright'. Usually, my father would ask me to read the book. But this time, he read it aloud while I listened intently. As I listened to him speak, I imagined myself flying high in the sky and conquering the human flight. I couldn't believe that the aviation pioneer was just an ordinary man who worked in a bicycle shop. I was completely assured that the person whose name I shared is a great man although my opinion on his appearance didn't change.

However, as I grew older, I began to notice that people were too quick to judge me. I was recognized just because of my different name.

Was I only the bearer of a different name and nothing more?

No! I told myself. I wanted a change. A change that would prove that I am worthy of my name. But of course, change is never easy. I remember the time when I first dribbled a basketball and threw shots nowhere near the basket. Amidst barely contained giggles, my friend revealed to me that even my teacher told my father that I jumped like a frog. I gave awkward debate speeches, went blank during poem recitations and finished last in relay races. Nothing was going the way I intended, but slowly I began to learn. I learned that I could always improve. I learned that it doesn't matter if others mock or ridicule me because all I had to do was to try again and do it better. I realized that it is necessary to risk failure in order to achieve success. I learned that you can get recognized only if you try. So, I always aspire to create my own identity. I hope to see the day when people who called me "Hurbal", "Birbal", "Billbar" or "Whirball" will correctly pronounce my name as "Wilbur" because they recognize me, not because of the great man whose name I share.
helloWorld89 - / 1  
Dec 25, 2018   #2
The book title roughly translates translated to "Stars of Science."
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4769  
Dec 26, 2018   #3
It would be better if you go for the open topic prompt with this essay because it does not align itself, in terms of content, with the requirements of the prompt you have chosen. You have not really delivered an idea that you have come to a better understanding of yourself and of others in this instance. In fact, you even showed yourself to be just as judgemental based on how you viewed the physical appearance of Wilbur Wright in the essay. That is most certainly not a realization or understanding of yourself or others.

However, since this is still an interesting essay to speak of, I would like you to still use it with your application, with the open topic prompt. Why? Well, the history of your name is unique and the experiences you have had because of it are interesting to read as well. In fact, the opening sentences of this essay make for an interesting introduction and contain a reference to the possible prompt topic of the essay. So you can keep the whole essay intact for the presentation.
OP hellstein 2 / 3 1  
Dec 26, 2018   #4
Thank You for the response. I guess you are right about the prompt choice.

Also, Would it be better if I write:
"For a child who imagined the great man to be some kind of superhero, my expectations plummeted suddenly once I saw the picture. The man in the picture looked the same as any other common man." instead of "My expectations of the great man that my father used to talk about plummeted suddenly, at least in terms of his appearance."

I am also thinking of deleting the phrase "although my opinion on his appearance didn't change".

What do you think?
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4769  
Dec 27, 2018   #5
Your suggested changes seem to be fine once reviewed on its own. Whether it works or not with the overall paragraph and essay presentation is another thing. You have to make sure that yo can incorporate those changes seamlessly into the existing essay presentation. You must always be aware that even minor changes to the wording can have an overall effect on your essay presentation. Test it out first with the original essay format. If the replacement parts work well and does not come across as awkward to read, nor does it change the meaning you wish to imply in the paragraph, then the changes should be fine. I cannot really tell you if it will specifically work or not until I read the revised version of the essay. Although, I think that you can judge whether the changes work or not for yourself since you are the one writing the essay.


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