Hey there! :)
Okay there is much better flow to your essay than your previous draft. The transition of ideas looks good.
Growing up I was a very shy individual, often keeping my thoughts to myself. Despite the fact that I was a quiet child, I had a very creative mind. I found it much easier expressing myself in words, through writing.
I like this part very much. I can relate to it in many ways. :) It gives the reader an insight into your personality..
Though I want to tell you that if you could rephrase the last sentence of the above quote and twist it to something a little more interesting, it would make a much better impact. Since the last line is the most important. :-) Just a suggestion..
Although I am not currently writing a non-fiction novel based on my life....
Umm, I think I don't understand this part. Are you supposed to write a non-fiction novel on your life? What was your intention to put it this way? I don't think I got it... :/
That being said, I find this writing prompt very interesting and enjoyable.
I don't think this line is necessary. You've already mentioned that this quote intrigued and inspired you.
I put a lot of thought into this writing prompt due to the fact that it is so open ended and being the creative person that I am, I could have gone many ways with this.
I somehow feel that you are saying that your creative, but not showing it. You've mentioned your creativity in the first paragraph already. No need to say
that you've put a lot of thought into writing this piece. Just show it, don't tell. Infuse it in your essay. I think it will catch the reader's attention immediately. :-)
That's what I feel... ultimately it's your call on how you want your essay to be...
All that being said, your essay shines in the last part. It's well written towards the end.
Anyway, hope I could help you well enough! :)
All the Best for this! Good Luck!