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Narrative on GOALS (financial obligations and special circumstances)


nkhattri 6 / 33  
Feb 11, 2010   #1
Write a short narrative about your goals and include, if relevant, your financial obligations and special circumstances (i.e. severe health conditions).

For as long as I can remember, I have been interested in political science and American history. As a child, I remember visiting Washington D.C, walking the streets of Nebraska Avenue, admiring the monuments, inquiring about what each one represented. Although my life has repeatedly led me to Washington D.C., my fondest childhood memory in Washington D.C. is of when I lost my first tooth while I was in line to tour the White House. As I grew older, my admiration for our nation's history and its political science grew. I became fascinated by how our forefathers experiment, a republican democracy, evolved into one of the greatest cooperative political systems of all time.

My admiration for the righteousness for our legal system has been demonstrated through my interest in all facets of American History. Apart from the rigorous history courses that I have taken during high school, last summer I participated in a residential program at American University which concentrated on civil and criminal law. Through lectures, simulations, and group debates, I was able to grasp key concepts of our justice system and understand the pivotal role that checks and balances play in the balance of our justice system.

My experience at law camp positively changed my outlook on life and allowed me to gain insight into what is ultimately important to me, law. From the content of the program to the students I met, this experience instilled in me a keen appreciation of how our democracy works. As I learned the intricacies of law from erudite professors, I was amazed at the richness and diversity of the American judicial system. I also gained an appreciation for our Constitution which evolved from its humble, narrow origins to protecting the rights of the melting pot of our nation, blind to color and creed. Through intense lectures, simulations, and debates, this program also fueled admiration for law further and I quickly became fascinated by the role that our judicial system plays in the democratization of our diverse society.

Ultimately, my goal is to try to incorporate my love for children with my love for the field of law as a Family Law Advocate. My adoration for children stems from the fact that I've grown up around them. In a large family, I often found myself caring for my cousins. In high school, I took a Child Development course and also read to children at Martin Luther King Elementary School. As a student in college, I aspire to think critically and creatively to gain a solid foundation to succeed in the future as a Family Law Advocate.

Please edit this guys :) It's due soon and I'll edit your stuff too :) Thanks!

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Feb 12, 2010   #2
You forgot an apostrophe:
I became fascinated by how our forefathers' experiment, a republican democracy, evolved...

Do you have room to add one more paragraph? If so, it would be good to sum everything up and capture the main theme of the essay in a final paragraph. Celebrate the combination of child advocacy and American law.

I think you should at least rewrite this sentence, even if you have reached the maximum word count and cannot add another paragraph: As a student in college, I aspire to think critically and creatively to gain a solid foundation to succeed in the future as a Family Law Advocate. That sentence is too vague. I think you need to end with a sentence that is about the unique combination of family/child advocacy and law.

:-)


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