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"National Service" - Common App Personal Essay


icf2009 1 / -  
Dec 29, 2009   #1
Hi all, any comments/criticisms of the following would be highly appreciated!

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you (>250 words)
Upon reaching 18 years of age, all male Singaporean citizens and second-generation permanent residents are required to serve the Singapore Armed Forces as part of a conscripted army. This is known as "National Service" (NS).

It was a Wednesday morning, 2 am, I stood atop the Leopard 2A4 tank, staring down one of Germany's largest live firing ranges. My loader, part of a 4-man crew which operated the beast of a machine that I command, lay fast asleep within a cage of electronics and steel. I stood vigil, paying close attention to the massive influx of radio transmissions that buzzed within the confines of my helmet. There would be no rest tonight for me, as my crew and I waited in silence under a star-strewn German sky for our orders.

I have thousands of snapshots like these, moments in time that transpired over the last twenty-four months of NS. Some of them routine and mundane, others exciting and extraordinary. Some of which I long to forget, others that I hope will never leave my memory. As much as I am glad to have completed my two-year service to my nation, I also dread the thought of leaving all of this behind. The friends I have made, the sense of camaraderie that I have experienced, the knowledge and respect that I gained.

I was, at the start, a vehement opposer to the idea of NS. The thought of spending the next two years inside military camps, having to adhere to regimentation, forced to learn how to operate equipment which I have no interest in, exposed to the danger of ammunition fired from around me, was certainly nerve-wrecking, and it was most definitely an environment that I could not envision myself in. I was but a student before all this started, and I was not prepared to waste the next 2 years of my life taking part of something that I did not want to do. The freedom that I have enjoyed for the past 18 years of my life was being threatened, and I would not stand for it.

It all began with a seemingly innocent letter sent to my home. As I read its contents, a sinking feeling of dread formed within the pit of my stomach. I was informed, in a cruel but concise manner, that I would have to serve NS on the 13th of December later that year. I rushed to consult a senior who was currently serving NS, and he very cordially informed me of the arduous journey that I was about to embark on. No details were spared in the description of the route march, a compulsory 15-mile hike through the jungle tracks of Pulau Tekong, all the while carrying a 44-pound back pack, coupled with a rifle slung around the neck. I was devastated to hear the news.

24 months later, I find myself at the end of my time in NS. I had reached my goal of becoming an officer, and experienced what many of my friends and family could not even begin to think about. I fired weapons, both hand-held and tank-mounted. I hiked through marshes and bashed my way through thick jungles in the heart of Brunei. I endured the cold, bitter nights in Germany with my tank crew with nothing to keep us warm apart from the radiating heat of our tank electronics. However, at the end of it all, these are merely memories which would serve me well as conversation material with friends and family. What I took away from the past 2 years were more than that.

I'd say that the army is a lot like life, but I've only been through twenty years of the latter, and am in no position to comment. However, I'd like to think that I've taken away a lot. There are many things that can be learned outside of the army, but some things aren't as strongly reinforced and emphasized as they can be in the army. Bonds forged, experiences shared and lessons learned during ungodly hours and impossible situations are somehow more indelible then others. Respect and tolerance for people from different backgrounds and walks of life were but some of the key values ingrained within me. The idea of NS as a compulsory waste of 2 years backed by government authority had somewhat evolved into an experience that is irreplaceable. New perspectives were uncovered, and important lessons were learned. If I were to be taken back to the 13th of December 2007 once again, I would definitely, enthusiastically and somewhat animatedly, have jumped on this incredible, life-changing opportunity.
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Dec 31, 2009   #2
Wow, this is so much more impressive than anything I have ever done. How messed up it is that our kids fight our wars...

Run on sentence:
It was a Wednesday morning, 2 am, and I stood atop the Leopard 2A4 tank, staring down one of Germany's largest live firing ranges.

Some of them routine and mundane, while others were exciting and extraordinary. Some I long to forget, an d there remain others that I hope will never leave my memory.

...and it was most definitely not an environment in which I could envision myself.

This paragraph about opposing it is very impressive to those of us who think war is an insane practice.

Well, you will do very well. I certainly would let you into any institution I represented if I worked in the admissions office.


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