Hello, I'm applying to Georgetown U. Undergraduate McDonough School of Business, and I want to submit the essay below. I'm concerned about whether or not this gets enough of a view of my personal interests, while simultaneously expressing my seriousness about business, and having a proper essay flow. I'm also worried that the flow of the essay isn't very consistant, but i was hoping to make a connection between something I'm naturally talented at, and how that influenced my descisions on a career path and highlight how my seriousness is being backed by a passion. I felt the essay topic was a good opportunity to express a dynamic side about myself and catching the reader's interest, so that's why I included parts about my love for art and fashion. Does it work or is it random? how can I improve on it? Also, does my vocabulary seem pretentious? Should i get rid of the alliteration?
Here's the question:
APPLICANTS TO THE MCDONOUGH SCHOOL OF BUSINESS: Briefly describe the factors that have influenced your interest in studying business. Essays are to be approximately 1 page each. (No particular prompt, since I'm applying onlline.)
My Essay:
I've had a natural flair and love for art and fashion design since the sprouting year of 5th grade, when it became my dream to be a, "famous fashion designer". As I matured, I sought for a more attainable and professional career that I could integrate with this interest. Art is all about being free and dropping limitations from oneself, which I believe is the underpinning of creativity. In this decade, the world is growing more and more intertwined economically; innovation is a valuable skill to have when you want to beat the closing in global competition. I'm very open-minded when it comes to learning, and I believe I can apply the creative, innovative mindset that I have towards art and designing, to the basic traits a growing business person needs. I want to eventually open my own firm that represents fashion corporations, after which I can gain access to the type of the connections and funds needed to have my own line of designs out there one day.
I trust that Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business is ideal for me, in the sense that they prime students rigorously from the beginning; giving a school experience that demonstrates the global business world. Upon graduating from college, I want to become familiar with a wider business perspective, and have experienced real challenges that can equip me with the necessary tools needed in the growing, more interconnected, and relationship-based economy. I feel the school's way of getting its students prepared is very effective, because it's not limited to the abstract understanding you receive from a textbook. I'm very serious about my plans to major in business (Operations and Information Management) during undergraduate school and to obtain a law major in graduate school, since I'm pursuing the career of a corporate lawyer. In the same way I'm choosing not to take a pre-law major in undergraduate to acquire a more in-depth view of the business/economical aspect of corporate law, I want to attend college, not to get a theoretical view of the business world, but to see for myself and work as though I am really in the field, be challenged, and gain a more 3 dimensional perspective when learning. I believe this school matches my view point, and needs. The productive nature and more tangible experience Georgetown provides its students when it comes to learning global perspectives in business, would be very constructive towards my career.
Despite only being an undergraduate, I want to gain a high-quality experience in undergraduate school that would continue to be beneficial to me as I further my career paths in law. Unlike most schools, I feel I would graduate from Georgetown with a wider range of knowledge, and connections that would be favorable in getting internships and jobs with corporate practice groups that have networks abroad.
To me, this school behaves like a demo of the actual business world, down to the basics of the way they improve on the quality of their education. A college that thinks about the collective consciousness and novel nature of the career world, and then amends and appends to their curriculum to suffice, practically has the mindset of a business in marketing. The only difference is what Georgetown serves is an education that is geared upon marinating students with actual skills, bigger perspectives, and the familiarity I'd need once I enter into the real career world.
What I believe I can add to Georgetown University's McDonough School of Business, is an innovative, over-achieving mindset, a love for problem solving, and a persistence and focus that has made me successful in many of the goals that I have reached for.
