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The natural world - Texas A&M College Station transfer essay prompt A

Atrox 1 / 1  
Feb 23, 2021   #1

transfer essay to A&M TEXAS

Howdy, I'm hoping to transfer to A&M in the fall and would like to get some opinions and critiques on my transfer essay

Rn my word count on the essay is 797

For as long as I can remember I have always been fascinated with the natural world. I've always been drawn to my science courses through out my academic career because they satisfied my curiosity and further expanded my fascination. After being one of the few to pass the AP biology exam at my high school the choice to major in biology was clear.

Growing up I've always viewed Texas A&M University at College Station as the pinnacle of an academic career. My uncle who graduated from College Station always spoke very highly of his time there and the doors opened to him because of A&M. After visiting College Station a few times during high school for FFA competitions and swim meets I knew this was the college for me. I wanted to attend A&M right out of high school, but unfortunately my parents marriage started to crumble my senior year eventually leading to a nasty divorce. This left my father heartbroken, depressed, and financially wounded. The cost of a divorce and tuition would have been overwhelming and if I moved away for college my father would have been left all by himself. As much as I wanted to attend College Station and be able to experience the Aggie life I decided for the sake of my father to stay close to home and attend Northeast Lakeview Community College until he mended his wounds.

As I progressed through each semester at Northeast Lakeview my decision to major in biology held strong, however I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do with a degree in biology. During the summer between semesters a family friend had a buck perish after getting caught in a barbwire fence. The landowner had informed a game warden already, so in my ignorance I thought it was ok to take the antlers from the deceased buck. Not moments after I had finished taking the antlers I could see a cloud of dust overhead caused by a game warden's truck headed down the dirt road toward me. She stopped me and questioned me about what had happened to the deer. I told the warden everything; she then informed me that what I had done was considered poaching and the fine was going to be a hefty one. I explained that I never should have assumed the legality of the situation and I'll accept the punishment. The look of disappointment on her face changed to a grin. She told me that my ability to tell the truth and take responsibility for what I had done spoke volumes about my character. She too had a love of the natural world and she went on to explain that her job isn't just about writing tickets but also trying to use each situation to pass on that love of the natural world by teaching people to respect every aspect of nature. We spoke for the better part of an hour; I told her that I was majoring in biology at community college and had plans on transferring to College Station. She smiled and told me she was an A&M College Station graduate and told me to consider becoming a game warden when I graduate. After our talk she believed that I had learned my lesson decided to let me go with a warning. After that experience I knew I wanted to use my degree in biology to become a game warden and I wanted A&M to help me do it.

The kid I was fresh out of high school and the man I am now are unrecognizable. After my parents divorced many responsibilities where left unattended so I stepped up to the plate. I got a better paying job with increased hours so I could become more self sufficient and relieve some pressure off my father. My education was still my focus; I always found the time to get my work done. When COVID-19 started to be a real problem my will to succeed academically was truly put to the test. At one point at the beginning of 2020 I had two jobs while still being a full time student and becoming a member of Phi Theta Kappa. But I never took my eye off the prize of going to A&M. I prevailed; my grades weren't as high as previous semesters but I believe most people put in my situation would have crumbled under the weight. In my opinion these past few years at Lakeview have sufficiently prepared me for any obstacles that A&M might through my way. I also believe my ability to take responsibility for my actions as well as my determination would only improve A&M College Station as a whole. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,325 3355  
Feb 24, 2021   #2
The presentation is strong. It shows aspects of your life that would not have been part of your admission consideration if only the basics were considered. It shows a true progression and a developing maturity. However, in the last paragraph, you make mention of your ability to take responsibility for your actions and your determination would be an asset to A&M. Can you better explain why you believe that? What aspects of the A&M student life can benefit from your participation based on your perceived strengths? If you are running short of word allowance, then consider shortening the presentation about how you decided to become a game warden. That feels like it is running too long in the presentation anyway.
OP Atrox 1 / 1  
2 days ago   #3
Thank you for your feedback I agree and will make the changes.

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