Prompt: If you are applying to Trinity College of Arts and Sciences, please discuss why you consider Duke a good match for you. Is there something in particular at Duke that attracts you? Please limit your response to one or two paragraphs.
I'm an indecisive person by nature. Simple tasks such as picking what to order off a menu or selecting my classes for the next school year often take slightly longer than usual. However, when it comes to what college I want to attend (which is a consequentially larger decision than what I eat for dinner), there is no doubt in my mind that Duke is the ideal school for me. Everything about Duke fits what I am looking for: an innovative and interactive curriculum, a diverse and intimate student body, unrivaled school spirit, an outstanding basketball team, and, most importantly, a central focus on helping others.
For me, DukeEngage is the most exciting and admirable program at the university, and is what ultimately made my decision an easy one. Throughout several summers, I was able to get a taste for both local and international community service work, and I would like nothing more than to continue that work while I am in college. With its extensive resources and steadfast support from other students, DukeEngage would enable me to realize my dreams, on an even larger scale than I could have ever imagined. If possible, I would love to aid in starting a group project in Fiji, as my positive experiences with the locals left me with a desire to return to the South Pacific and continue helping its beautiful communities. Duke has everything that I could ever need in order to succeed, and because of that I am confident that choosing Duke will be the best decision I have ever made.
All suggestions are welcome/needed! Thank you!
Nice writing only thing i would suggest is don't use the parenthesis on your essay good essay!
I would really take out the first couple of sentences. I think they would fit if they asked about a major. However, for this essay I would not encourage it.
Maybe start out with how the DukeEngage program inspired you to apply to Duke.
How about this:
...when Ms. Austin described the _________, the school's ___________, and the ________ this outstanding program to me and my peers. ------------> That will make it full of substance.
I gues I would do a paragraph break after this:
...exactly what I am looking for.
:-)
commas:
Simple tasks, such as choosing what to order off a menu or selecting my classes for the next school year, often take slightly longer than usual what one might expect.
I (so very respectfully) disagree with the comments about removing the first few sentences of the parenthetical reference. They give great personality to the essay, your great personality.
maybe include something as to how Duke will benefit from having you as a student. maybe you want to give to the duke community... how will you do that?
why you consider Duke a good match for you.
please keep this in mind while revising your essay
i totally agree with Whitney Woodhull because even though ure describing how dukes all great for you youre in no way assesing your own potential except maybe in the first two lines
so talk about yourself and and through your own qualities asses and parallel those of duke
good luck
