Nepal Journey - DAVIDSON - EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY OR WORK EXPERIENCE

Hi guys! please help me improve this supplement. Also, its already 197 words. how do I end it? the word limit is 200 words.
Question: Please briefly elaborate on of your extracurricular activities or work experiences.

Recently, I went as a translator for a team of Australian medical students who had come to conduct health camps in the rural parts of Nepal. Each day of the 11 days trip was an adventure and an opportunity to learn.

The journey began with a long hike in the incredibly risky mountainous roads of Nepal. However, the breathtaking scene along the way washed all the exhaustion away. The trip opened my eyes to a Nepal I thought existed only in textbooks. Translating for each of the patient that came to the camp not only helped me understand the health condition of Nepal, but also see the poor socio-economic condition of the Nepalese people in these parts. It was tragic to see how ignorance on the littlest of things had affected the people severely. For instance, a simple act of not brushing the teeth has affected the dental health of the majority of people here. The amount of labor and hard work that people did here for such a low pay is incredible. I learnt so much during my conversations with the locals. The kids who were so young yet knew so much about life inspired me.

Recently I accompanied a group of Australian medical students as a translator to conduct medical camps in the rural areas of Nepal. Each day of the 11 day trip was was an adventure with opportunities to learn.

The journey began with a long hike in the incredibly risky mountainous roads of Nepal. However, the breathtaking scene along the way washed all the fear and exhaustion away. The trip opened my eyes to a Nepal I thought existed only in textbooks. Translating for each of the patient that came to the camp not only helped me understand the health condition of Nepal, but also observe the poor socio-economic condition of the Nepalese people in these parts. It was tragic to see how ignorance on the littlest of things had affected the people so tragically. For instance, a simple act of not brushing the teeth had affected the dental health of the majority of people here. The amount of labor and hard work that people did here for such a low pay is incredible. I learnt so much during my conversations with the locals. The kids who were so young yet knew so much about life inspired me. (these few sentences are choppy and kinda irrelevant to the topic of medicine and health u r focusing. So u might wanna delete them and put a solid conclusion instead)

Thank you OccamsRazor ! That was really helpful. i will work on it.

dont know how to improve mine english sucks
but quite informative and insightful essay