Nepal matters. Am I on the right track of this essay ?

What matters to you, and why? (100 to 250 words)

Nepal, my country

My country is on the brink of annihilation due to its never-ending political vulnerability. Neither the citizens nor the players of the constitution are aware of the impending catastrophe. Nepal is landlocked and doesn't own a sophisticated military (powerless defense ministry with archaic equipment) or a backup energy resource (not a single productive thermonuclear/solar/wind power-plant)- under neighboring nations' thumb for many years- and it's a matter of shame and jeopardy for entire Nepal to be listed as one of the weakest countries. The info-graphics on media which exhibit disturbing statistics concerning the deterioration of the only few functional hydroelectricity projects spurs an ambition to strengthen Nepal's infrastructural integrity with inauguration of sustainable energy industry. So, in my case I'm going to maneuver the question as 'Why the future of Nepal matters to you the most?'. Having struggled my entire student-life through reiterative load-shedding(power-cuts) and 'Bandhas' (nerve-wracking political insurgencies), I can't soft-pedal the inevitable crisis my country's going to face due to its long-delayed alertness towards political tranquility and renewable energy production. I care about the agro-based Nepalese commerce and want to invest every inch of my knowledge to trigger an Industrial revolution- the only hope for Nepal's prosperity. I care about Nepal's abundant water resources and want to generate hydro-power from every drop of it. This is not me being egotist for my motherland, but I realize the gravity of global energy crisis while the rest of us are taking endangered resources for granted.

Again paragraphing these essays might be better for the readers. a little more emphasis on how load-shedding and political insurgencies affected your academic life would be appreciated. but thats just my opinion. nonetheless, really good essay.

Nanda, while I can understand the reason why you are concerned about Nepal, you have chosen a topic that is way too wide for you to solve on your own or even begin to solve by yourself. The essay response, in my opinion should be geared more towards something personal, not national in content. The reviewer is wishing to get to know more about you through this prompt. So the response should be all about what matters to you as a person. Not as a citizen of Nepal. As a citizen of Nepal, you cannot enact changes or contribute to the society in a way that the rewards will be easily visible, if at all. However, when something matters most to you, the reviewer can see and judge how the importance of this thing affects your character traits as a person who is striving to get ahead in life.

Again, your topic is good, but too national in scope, so it loses the personal interest aspect. Try to discuss something on a more personal but important level. Do you think you can consider my suggestion? It is just something that I feel is more geared towards what the reviewer would want to see. His concern is not about Nepal as a nation, but rather on Nanda, as an applicant to his university. So your responses should be based on a more personal level that explains who you are and what why some things matter to you more than the other things or people in your life.

@Holt
With all due respect, don't you think the topic is itself asking for a wide observation (without any specific limit) ? If so, then would it work if I reduce the range of my article to the society where I grew up or my district ? What do you say ?

Most people who discuss the wide version of this essay always end up narrowing down their essays because their counselors, who help them review their essays often tell them to go for the more personal approach to the discussion. That is because the wide discussion has too many sub topics and representations attached to them which make it impossible to actually develop a believable discussion of what matters most and why.

If you have the opportunity to discuss what is important to you because of its direct effect on your region or district, then you would have the opportunity to even include a quick discussion of how your chosen major will allow you address a solution to this topic, without the solution discussion taking over the whole essay.

There is an American saying that goes; "Pick battles small enough to win, but big enough to matter". That is the kind of discussion parameter that you should use in choosing the topic to discuss here. It should be small enough to matter to your community and also small enough for you to solve, but have a far ranging and bigger effect on the community once the solution is implemented. At least, that is how I understand this prompt should be discussed.

You can look up the examples of responses to that prompt in this forum to see how the other students dealt with the same prompt. I believe it will help you better develop and align your answer with the prompt.

Hi Nanda,

Congratulations for being a concerned citizen and caring about your country's needs.

Just re-phrasing what Holt suggested: Yes the "topic is broad without specific limits" but not about everything exists, it's more aiming to get something that matters for "yourself". That broadness is referring to the areas that you can tell from your life, interests, experiences, likes/dislikes.

From your essays, a college admission officer will know you as one of the thousands Nepal citizens concerning about Nepal's situation but will not necessarily know who you are, and how you stand out in thousands (which is the intention of the essay).