Prompt #1 (freshman applicants)
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I wrote an essay...but its...Whenever i read it i feel as if there is something terribly wrong or missing from it. I want to find a way to make it an interesting read rather than how dry it is right now. I would love feedback on how to improve my writing style! PLEASE HELP!!!!!
One of the most well-known stereotypes is the nerdy Asian kid and I am its personification. People ask, "why do you try so hard?' How can I not? I am not just me. I am more than that. I am my mother's daughter. I am father's daughter. I am the reflection of the people who raised me. Confucius once said, "You must study the past in order to divine the future." I am the future and I was sculpted by the people closest to me.
I am from an immigrant family. My mother came to America alone with her unborn child. She was forced to leave my father behind in faraway Vietnam in order to come to a new country and give me the American dream. It would be eight years before my father finally reunited with his family. During that time, my mother was worked tirelessly night to day in order support her young daughter. As I watched her, I learned the value of hard work, independence, and perseverance. Throughout my life, I have followed her example and persisted through any obstacles. When I received a "B" on a violin final, I practiced for hours and hours afterwards and grasped an "A+" during the retake exam. Even so, my success is not measured my grades or numbers but rather the amount of work and dedication behind it.
"Study! Study! Study!" This word is heard every second of every minute in my household. My parents left Vietnam in order to give me the possibility of the American dream.. Yet, life in a new country was difficult. In Vietnam, both my parents were educated teachers, but are now menial workers with bottom scraping pay. They immigrated late in life and were unable to gain an American college education, so were bereft of better job opportunities. Knowledge of their loss fuels my drive for excellence. From the moment I could understand, they have instilled within me the importance of education. Throughout high school, I challenged myself with as many advance classes as possible. When I felt under prepared for the AP Biology exam, I spent countless hours poring over extra study guides. My preparation paid off when I received the only passing score in my class on the exam. My parents have given me the limitless opportunities found in America and I will not waste them. On my quest for career advancement and survival in the modern age, education will be my most valuable weapon.
I give many thanks to my parents. They are a constant source of inspiration and encouragement. From infancy, they carefully nurtured my yearning for knowledge and showed me the path to success. With the traits I have acquired, I cannot wait to take the next step towards my life long education and my American dream.
Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
I wrote an essay...but its...Whenever i read it i feel as if there is something terribly wrong or missing from it. I want to find a way to make it an interesting read rather than how dry it is right now. I would love feedback on how to improve my writing style! PLEASE HELP!!!!!
One of the most well-known stereotypes is the nerdy Asian kid and I am its personification. People ask, "why do you try so hard?' How can I not? I am not just me. I am more than that. I am my mother's daughter. I am father's daughter. I am the reflection of the people who raised me. Confucius once said, "You must study the past in order to divine the future." I am the future and I was sculpted by the people closest to me.
I am from an immigrant family. My mother came to America alone with her unborn child. She was forced to leave my father behind in faraway Vietnam in order to come to a new country and give me the American dream. It would be eight years before my father finally reunited with his family. During that time, my mother was worked tirelessly night to day in order support her young daughter. As I watched her, I learned the value of hard work, independence, and perseverance. Throughout my life, I have followed her example and persisted through any obstacles. When I received a "B" on a violin final, I practiced for hours and hours afterwards and grasped an "A+" during the retake exam. Even so, my success is not measured my grades or numbers but rather the amount of work and dedication behind it.
"Study! Study! Study!" This word is heard every second of every minute in my household. My parents left Vietnam in order to give me the possibility of the American dream.. Yet, life in a new country was difficult. In Vietnam, both my parents were educated teachers, but are now menial workers with bottom scraping pay. They immigrated late in life and were unable to gain an American college education, so were bereft of better job opportunities. Knowledge of their loss fuels my drive for excellence. From the moment I could understand, they have instilled within me the importance of education. Throughout high school, I challenged myself with as many advance classes as possible. When I felt under prepared for the AP Biology exam, I spent countless hours poring over extra study guides. My preparation paid off when I received the only passing score in my class on the exam. My parents have given me the limitless opportunities found in America and I will not waste them. On my quest for career advancement and survival in the modern age, education will be my most valuable weapon.
I give many thanks to my parents. They are a constant source of inspiration and encouragement. From infancy, they carefully nurtured my yearning for knowledge and showed me the path to success. With the traits I have acquired, I cannot wait to take the next step towards my life long education and my American dream.
