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Neuroscience/ Helpful & Empathetic; Johns Hopkins Supp ; Pursue what?/ You


mgabir 6 / 2 1  
Dec 26, 2012   #1
Johns Hopkins offers 50 majors across the schools of Arts and Sciences and Engineering. On this application, we ask you to identify one or two that you might like to pursue here. Why did you choose the way you did? If you are undecided, why didn't you choose? (If any past courses or academic experiences influenced your decision, you may include them in your essay.)

What part of the body is least known by human kind? The answer: is the brain. There is so much to still discover about how the brain works that it is mind blowing (pun intended). Since I was a child, I always wondered how the brain was able to tell my hand that it was burning on a stove and remove it so quickly. I asked my teacher about this phenomenon and she only told me it was called an involuntary reflex action. Not satisfied with this answer, I researched the topic and found out the impulse never actually reaches the brain but rather only goes to the spinal cord and back in what is called an involuntary reflex action.

There are a lot of things that I will not be sure about in life, but my college major is not one of them. I made my mind up long time ago and it won't likely change. Neuroscience fascinates me because there are many mysteries that shroud its underlying mechanisms. In this golden age of knowledge, advances in this field are very drastic and I want to be a part of the movement. My desire is to learn the ins and outs of the nervous system. My pursuit of Neuroscience as a major is also a key step towards my goal of becoming a physician. It will be a challenging path, but I know that it will be equally rewarding.

Tell us something about yourself or your interests that we wouldn't learn by looking at the rest of your application materials. (While you should still pay attention to sentence structure and grammar, your response is meant as a way for us to get to know you, rather than a formal essay.)

One day speaking to my teacher, she looked at me and said, "Never look down on someone unless you are picking them up." This resonated within me because those words were a manifestation of what I try to do every day. I think everyone deserves to have an equal chance to persevere in whatever endeavor they might encounter. If that means people should be caught up to speed, it is an obligation to be there as a caring friend in order to help them. Everyone has the potential to be someone great, but it takes special people to unlock that potential. This is why I make it my responsibility to do whatever I can to help anyone that asks for my support. I often end up tutoring my classmates long into the night even though I might have an exam the next day. In essence, I cannot say no to anyone that asks for assistance because I feel guilty every time I refuse due to the fact that I am crippling them from succeeding. This mindset allows me to see the world in a different light. Whenever I am in an argument with someone, I try to picture what kinds of struggles or situations they have been through in order to reach their position on whatever topic we may be arguing about. Life often pushes a person to their limits but it doesn't hurt to have a helping hand.
haneom94 4 / 7 1  
Dec 27, 2012   #2
I think that the first essay is pretty solid with background and goals.
The second essay was okay with helping people and all that, but it didn't seem personal to me. You also sounded like you try too hard to help people rather than you enjoying it. If you could possibly put more of your passion and desire to help people and explain why, I think it would make your paragraph a lot stronger :)

Solid job!
morocco513 1 / 2  
Dec 27, 2012   #3
I agree with the last comment about the second essay, but regarding the first essay I liked the first half where you mentioned how your childhood affected your desire to study neuroscience, but I'd probably tie in the second half a little tighter; make it relate more to your childhood experience just to help the reader transition. Check out my essay for JHU, I also wrote about Neuroscience hahaha.
diebysenioritis 7 / 17 7  
Dec 27, 2012   #4
(1) You should rephrase this sentence. "Once my teacher spoke to me and said, '...'" "My teacher once said to me, '...'"

(2) That you can't say no to anyone may not be an attribute you want to showcase about yourself. You should at-least rephrase this in a more appealing manner.

Overall, the first essay was fine. The phrase "human kind" makes me cringe a little. Just say mankind! To heck with the feminists. They're not so good at the science parts anyway (I kid). The second essay was a little too "fluffy." That is to say you show rather than tell. You should ground your philosophy in some personal experience. That would help translate your message. I am also apply to JHU. Best of luck!


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