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Essay about: neuroscience, what makes you stand out? (UB Prompt)


NigelJ 1 / -  
Nov 21, 2010   #1
Unlike a Staples commercial, there is no "easy" button for hardships and challenges in life. Growing up in a rough neighborhood in Bedford-Stuyvesant Brooklyn, I've come to realize this from many examples. Out of the constant exposure to gang violence, drugs, and overall negativity in my area, I can say however, that it has had its positive effects on me. I personally see that living in such a horrid and dangerous area is a huge motivator to gain a substantial education, become successful, and leave it all behind.

When I was younger in about the fifth grade, my mother would tell me to go to the library nearby my house to do my homework, read, and wait for her to pick me up afterschool since she was working and I didn't have a key at the time. One day, as I reached in front of the library, a group of slightly older boys (about 3 maybe) walked up to me and jumped me for no given reason. I was of course angered at the fact it was so random and that exact moment was when I realized I needed to become something better than those individuals. To this very day I remember that experience because it is the basis of my motivation to invest in an education and not to become one of those "gangsters" on the streets, drug-dealers on the corners, or troublemakers in the neighborhood, which are so commonly seen; but rather to abide by Robert Frost's quote and "take the road less travelled."

What makes me stand out? The answer to this question is "my motivation and drive." Instead of falling under the social norm of my neighborhood, I have chosen to pursue an education and work at it to the best of my abilities. My ultimate career goal is to enter the medical field and specialize in neuroscience, whether it's in research or surgery. My interest in the area of neuroscience was somehow brought from movies. When I was about 14-15 years old, I saw the movies "Back to the future I and II." From the moment I saw them, Michael J. Fox (the main character Marty) almost instantly became one of my favorite actors. When I discovered he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, I was shocked and then grew an ambitious desire to find a cure or further discover aspects about the disease. Although the aim is clearly very high, a plus is that I really enjoy learning about the field of neuroscience and always took pleasure in learning about science throughout my life. Also, I can definitely see myself working in that area in the future.

Thus, though it isn't unheard of for a person to have high dreams, I believe what makes me stand out from the rest is the reason why I want to achieve them. How many African American boys from Bedford-Stuyvesant Brooklyn do you know want to be a Neurologist; or make a strong effort to build something positive of their lives? I want to beat the statistics; become more than just another number.
ahhbeee - / 5  
Nov 22, 2010   #2
Great essay!

Except:

"One day, as I reached in front of the library, a group of slightly older boys (about 3 maybe) walked up to me and jumped me for no given reason."

I suggest you omit "(about 3 maybe)" A "group" of slightly older boys is enough to illustrate a picture. Also, replace "jumped" to "attacked"

Good luck! :)


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