'A new electrical plug' - UIUC Essays (Academic Interests/Activity)

Essay 1: In an essay of 300 words or less, please discuss your academic interests and/or professional goals.

Ten years ago, I changed a new electrical plug for an iron. The circuit breaker tripped when I turned on the appliance and the whole house was engulfed in darkness. This happened for a few times until I discovered the correct arrangement for the live, ground and neutral connections. Since then, I was fascinated about science and how electricity works. The changing of every fused light bulb in the house has thus become my hobby.

In high school, I realized that the electron is more than a carrier of electricity. Being neither here nor there, it can also exist as a wave. The fact that our real world is made up of these packets of uncertainty, and that there is a chance that the full stop in this very sentence might tunnel through this sheet of paper intrigued me. To convince myself that the Planck's constant is a very small number, I designed a circuit to measure it using light emitting diodes.

I enjoy understanding how elegant equations are derived from elementary numbers and axioms, intricate machines are constructed based on simple laws in physics and practical problems are solved with application of economical knowledge. The scanning tunneling microscope, with the aid of the electrons, exposed me to the interesting atomic surface of a matter while the study of optical fibers made me appreciate the convenience of a broadband and cable television. Electrical engineering suits me best as I can pursue my passions in math and physics, and at the same time, explore my interests in nanotechnology and photonics.

With a distinguished and diverse faculty, UIUC is a great place for me to collaborate with other engineers in multi-disciplinary projects and I look forward to entering your Micro and Nanotechnology Laboratory and creating useful nanodevices for the benefits of mankind.

(300 words)

Essay 2: In an essay of 300 words or less, choose one extracurricular activity, work experience, or community service project from the list you provided on the application and explain why you initially chose it, why you continued with it, and how you benefited from it.

My appetite for new experiences prompted me to pick up a musical instrument though I had no musical background. Since young, blind buskers in shopping districts have always captured my attention and inspired me with their harmonicas. Also, I do not deny that my decision to join the high school's Harmonica Band sprang from my novel intention to play a romantic solo for her on a stage.

To most people, the harmonica may seem unstylish and easy-to-play. However, the different mouth techniques, like a staccato kiss or a legato slide, on the harmonica require fine execution in order to produce harmonious melodies. Hours of practice occasionally left me with cracked lips, and admonitions from my conductor often filled me with guilt. However, all these were worth the opportunity for a first public performance. A full house patronage and boisterous applauses were nonetheless rewarding, but true satisfaction came from immersing in the joyous mood or the poignant tales of the musical pieces, playing more with heart than mouth and enjoying every moment on the stage. These, along with the chemistry among the players, kept me close to the Band.

The harmonica was a source of relaxation from my hectic academic life although the pressure to play well and live up to the music drove me to practice industriously. Performing in the public boasted my confidence, while playing in the Band taught me how to strike a balance between creativity and technical accuracy. I also learned the importance of teamwork as every concert would not be successful without the combined effort of my fellow members, teachers and conductor.

I have never regretted that I did not get to perform a solo, as I realized that sometimes, life is meaningful when it is less of me and more of us.

(297 words)

Thanks for reading. Is my first essay too generic? Please criticize hard and frankly.

Your first essay seems to do what you need it to do. I say seems, because it has been a long time since I studied physics, and so I have no idea if what you are saying makes any sort of real sense. Assuming it does, though, you are specific enough that your answer is solid. One grammatical thing, though:

Since then, I have been fascinated about science and how electricity works.


Since the blind buskers were young? Remember, introductory clauses always modify the first noun after the comma, whether you intend them to or not.


"her?" Normally pronouns refer back to a noun. I don't see anything this could refer back to, here.


"boosted," you mean.


This doesn't seem to connect that well to the rest of your essay.

Thank you very much for your comments, Sean.

You pointed out a very big mistake I made and I missed out -> "Since young, blind buskers in shopping districts have always captured my attention and inspired me with their harmonicas".