Unanswered [16] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Undergraduate   % width Posts: 3


New experiences are what matter to me; Stanford


thespoonguy 6 / 23 1  
Dec 17, 2012   #1
What matters to you and why

suggestions anyone?

A droplet of sweat trickled down my forehead, sliding down the frame of my glasses before falling to the already moist carpet below. The clock ticked, over and over again, getting slower with each passing second. Another droplet of sweat formed. My eyes scanned the room with trained expertise for any form of entertainment. Football, blank paper, camera- CAMERA! I shot up to my feet, stumbling as the carpet folded beneath my feet, barely making it to my precious digital SLR in one piece. A minute later I was downstairs in the scorching heat again carefully scanning my surroundings, this time for an interesting subject. That day I stayed down till sunset experimenting with shadows.

New experiences are what matter to me. I can't stand the dull monotony that life seems to gravitate to when left alone. In life, predictability is my arch nemesis, randomness and spontaneity my greatest assets. The instant I sense that I'm getting caught up in the same dreary everyday schedule I pick something new to do. On one occasion it was jumping into the frigid water of the swimming pool at 3am on New Years' Eve and on another, experimenting in the kitchen in the middle of the night. At the end of it all there's always an interesting new story to tell, like that one time I hand fed a tiger cub! But these experiences contribute more to my life than just great stories and memories. There is often something to be learnt, or a new hobby I discover that is worth pursuing.

In fact, my decision to study political science is influenced strongly by Model United Nations conferences, a concept I decided to give a shot solely because it was something new and it intrigued me. I make a sincere effort to live each day different from the last, learning something new every day, discovering interest I would never otherwise have known existed, shaping me into the person I am today.
Silleth 3 / 10 3  
Dec 17, 2012   #2
My fingers played aimlessly with the threads of the carpet below my feet, knotting and then unknotting them.

I think you should put knotting and unknotting them again

That day, I stayed down till sunset experimenting with shadows.

Try not to use contractions in your more formal writings. Other than that, it sounds pretty good.
Doom 13 / 37 2  
Dec 22, 2012   #3
In fact, my decision to study political science is influenced strongly by Model United Nations conferences, a concept I decided to give a shot solely because it was something new and it intrigued me.

The theme of your essay is about loving an element of unpredictability in your life. This sentence stood out to me because it seems like you just plugged it in. How does MUN inject uncertainty into your life? just add a sentence of two explaining it.

Otherwise, your pretty much set!


Home / Undergraduate / New experiences are what matter to me; Stanford
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳