"my new home to better the community" - Johns Hopkins supplement-

A Typical student at Johns Hopkins spends less than 15 hours each week in a classroom, leaving lots of time for volunteer opportunities, clubs and organizations, athletics, social events, and other on- and off-campus activities. Aside from the academic interests you've already expressed, in what activities do you plan to engage as an undergraduate at Johns Hopkins?

Please give any suggestions that can help me make it better. Any suggestions are welcomed. Thank you for your help and if you need me to read yours just ask.

As undergraduate of Johns Hopkins University I will be presented with countless new opportunities that I will fully take advantage of. School will be my number one priority but it will not be my only one. I will be in new city but I will be as active if not more active then I am now at home. I plan on volunteering at Johns Hopkins Hospital because I have always had a desire to help others and hospitals give me that chance. I can help patients who cannot help themselves and the feeling you get from this is something that simply cannot be described. You know you are making a difference in someone's life for the better. Helping others is just my way of showing that I am human and that I do care about my fellow man. Volunteering does not only help the patients but also helps the volunteer because as Mohandas Gandhi said "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." At Johns Hopkins I plan on loosing myself in my volunteer work because I will dedicate as much time as I can to help these people. I will not limit myself to only the hospital but try to help at soup kitchens, nursing homes, can drives, and any charities that I can offer my assistance to. Johns Hopkins is going to be my new home hopefully and I will do anything to make the community there better for everyone.

I second that the theme is cliche, however you do have some good points. They just need to be structured differently.

The only specific thing you seem to mention that relates to Johns Hopkins or the Baltimore area is the hospital. If you want volunteering to be the predominant theme throughout the essay I think you should find some more volunteering activities you would liek to take part in the Baltimore area. Also, unless you are completely in love with that quote. I would take it out, you only have 250 words and a quote takes up a big portion of that without adding anything more about you.

Overall good essay, just needs some work.