Hi. I'm an international student and it's my first time to post here.
So, please help me~~~
[A] Describe a setback that you have faced.How did you resolve it? How did the outcome affect you? If something similar happened in the future, how would you react?
When I successfully entered senior high school life, I got a suit of my own. However, students have few chances to wear suits, except for some special occasions like the Model United Nations (MUN).
I wasn't chosen to become a member of MUN in Tenth Grade, which really depressed me. "Is it because I always feel nervous in front of so many people? Is it because the speech for my try-out is not impressive?" I kept asking myself. Maybe I am not a born diplomat, but I don't give up easily and persistence is my attitude towards life. With this belief, I tried again in Eleventh Grade and ended up in joining MUN successfully.
Life took on a new look. Every Friday, classmates could see me wearing suit and high-heel shoes and holding a folder of documents. I felt that I was another person after changing into suit, a person who represented a country (Spain) and spoke for the country. At first I was ambitious. I found the task so arduous that I had to stay up late to look for official information even if I could not understand Espaïol at all.
However, this was not the biggest obstacle.
What frustrated me the most was that experienced delegates dominated the whole conference so that in draft resolutions I could only play the role of a signatory, not a sponsor; inexperienced delegates reached an agreement with me so easily because they just wanted a credit. I was somewhat alone. Compared with my feeling of loneliness, the experience of not entering MUN in Tenth Grade seemed nothing. Through this setback, I am aware that ambition is absolutely a vital force to succeed, but it is not the only force. To put aside the political stands in MUN conference, I needed others' support and understanding and I attributed failure and frustration to the fact that I became a MUNer one year after those experienced delegates and my fate was to blame.
Thus, I have always sought for opportunities in order to compete with others from the same starting line. I have been sticking to this principle until I saw a senior student running in school's sports games. I was wondering why there was a guy running beside her when she was running. Later I figured out that she was blind and the guy was guiding her not to run out of track. This was not a fair competition, but she insisted and everyone cheered for her. The girl taught me that hard work can finally pay off and it is never too late to catch up with others. Finally, I realized I was to blame for my setback and what is more important, I should have stood up and faced the obstacle myself.
Thus, if I unfortunately suffer from this kind of setback again, never will I complain, since I know that a bad loser is one who complains when he /she loses.
Hi im just a normal poster on this fourum but heres some bits of advice =)
-For your introduction its sounds a bit monotone and cryptic, the thing about intros. are that it decides whiether the admissions people with skim or actualy read your essay. So you want your Intro. to be a work of art and captavating. =) good luck!
Jen, that is GREAT advice. Thanks for helping.
Stephanie, here is something to do.
In the 11th grade, I bought a (what kind of suit?) suit of my own, but students have few chances to wear suits, except for some special occasions -- like the Model United Nations (MUN). I wasn't chosen to become a member of MUN in Tenth Grade, which really depressed me. "Is it because I always feel nervous in front of so many people? Is it because the speech for my try-out is not impressive?" I kept asking myself. Maybe I am not a born diplomat, but I don't give up easily, and persistence is my attitude towards life. With this belief, I tried again in Eleventh Grade and ended up in joining MUN successfully.
Also:
I felt that I was a different person after changing into suit, a person who represented a country (Spain) and spoke for the country.
Thanks Jen & Kevin! I really appreciate your help.
Do you think my ending is hasty?
I'm worried that I didn't answer "If something similar happened in the future, how would you react?" clearly.
BTW, what's your overall feeling of this essay?
I really like it. It flows great. Everyone else covered the minor flaws.
