hey everybody, i would really appreciate it if some could please review and critique my optional essay for Tulane. thanks!
Prompt:Please describe why you are interested in attending Tulane.
I first learned about the distinct and unique city of New Orleans in AP US History and was immediately fascinated with its cultural, historical and educational aspects. After doing some research on it, I knew it was definitely a city I would have to visit. Soon enough, New Orleans again crossed through my mind, this time through photography; my friend Jamie returned with an abundance of photos from a cross country trip he had taken after graduating. He had photos from Jacksonville in Florida to San Francisco California, but the most memorable by far were photos he took of Bourbon Street, showcasing the stories of the French and Creole culture captured by his lens. He introduced me to Tulane through pictures taken of the campus and on Broadway Street, where his cousin's fraternity house was. After conducting my own research on Tulane, I felt as if I had found the ideal school; a university with a great premedical program that also allowed me to major in interests outside of medicine, along with an incredible campus life and environment, to say nothing of the delicious cuisine. Tulane has everything I want in higher education, and it would be my honor to attend.
Hashim, seeing pictures of the university and hearsay from your friend is not a very good reason for wanting to attend the school. You need to give valid academic reasons for wanting to attend the university. These reasons could range from the school being one of the major universities that offers the major that you intend to take, being inspired by previous graduates of the school who have become notable industry names, and perhaps, personal reasons that you have for wanting to attend the school. The personal reason can be anything from a relative who attended the school, who also encouraged you to go there. Or perhaps fulfilling an academic dream of your parents. It could even be based solely upon your desire to attend an interesting and unique community. You need better and more compelling reasons that the one you are currently using. There is nothing about the essay that you wrote that presents your interest in the school on an academic and student community level. That makes this essay not worth the time that you took to type it. It is not developed properly and does not properly answer the prompt. So you need to revise the paper in a major way. Reflect upon the real reasons that you chose the university. Don't use other people as a reference. They don't matter in this case.
hi thank you for replying. I'm interested in attending the university because it has great campus and city life and because it has a great medical program, but an admissions officer at the school wrote in his blog he likes to hear about personal experiences or interactions with the school. is my optional essay too personal and fails to show my academic interests in the school?
i cant post a link to the blog, but if you type "tulane optional essay" into google it will be the first result.
Hey I think for one the essay is a little short and can be expanded. But I think if you have a meaningful reason of wanting to go to Tulane as you mentioned above you should expand on that. If pictures is all you have to go on as far as a "personal experience" is concerned, you shouldn't really put that in there. I think you should just stick to your academic interest in Tulane, why YOU like the school, other than just aesthetics and what you plan on achieving there. But that's my personal opinion so good luck!
I first learned about the distinct and unique city of New Orleans in AP US History (.)
andI was immediately fascinated with its cultural, historical and educational aspects. This sentence is a run on. I would separate it.
You say you were fascinated by the cultural, historical, and educational aspects, yet you don't mention them again in the paper. Maybe go into specifics about this?
Okay I scrapped that completely and started over. this is my new one, same prompt.
Prompt:Please describe why you are interested in attending Tulane.
As an intended premedical studies student, I have been researching colleges with well respected programs and opportunities. The typical candidates regularly came up: Vanderbilt, Emory, USC, etc. I stumbled upon Tulane University expecting another generic program of study in a popular city; what I found was a school with unique opportunities and experiences ranging from required major related community service classes to volunteer options at Tulane Medical Center to double majors, allowing me to pursue my interests outside of medicine. Because I'm largely undecided on what I want to specialize in, I've also been looking for a school with an array of options concerning either Biology or Chemistry, and Tulane has the most departments related to biology and chemistry in the School of Medicine, and has even introducing me to programs in the School of Science and Engineering. In addition to all these aspects, Tulane University distinguishes itself from its competitors through its social life. I have always been fascinated by New Orleans; the delicious cuisine, the rich French and Creole history, and of course, Mardi Gras. Tulane's location in the heart of the city that tops my bucket list is a great addition; I'd love to get an internship with Biodistrict New Orleans or simply just explore Bourbon Street and the French quarters. The Greek life at Tulane is ideal because the spring rush allows freshman to better assimilate into college before joining as a pledge, and the sports scene endorses school spirit and unity, something other universities sacrifice for academic excellence. Tulane University is perfect for me to explore Biology related majors along with pursuing my interests outside of medicine, and the location in New Orleans provides incomparable experiences.
Oh and thanks everyone who replied, i really appreciate your opinions and criticisms, so dont hold back!
Hashim, the comment that you read about personal experience was from the blog of one admission officer. That is not necessarily the criteria for all the admission officers of the school. However, if you want to put something about personal experience, I suggest you take a tour of the campus and input some information about that visit. The current version of your essay still has a generalized feel to it. Not really discussing your future goals and reasons for admission to Tulane. Here is what I think can help you better write this essay :
1. List down your reasons for applying to medical school.
2. List down the reasons you opted for Tulane over the other obvious choices in terms of universities.
3. Relate list 1 to list 2 in order to create the solid reason for your choice of Tulane.
4. List your ideal student community criteria.
5.Look up the student community traits of Tulane.
6. Integrate your ideal community with Tulane's community.
7. This creates your strong optional essay.
As an option, you can discuss something about your future goal related to medical research or treatment and explain how Tulanae's training and internship programs can benefit from your forward thinking attitude.