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Next four years as a UC San Diego Triton is the best thing that could happen to me!


samanthaaaj 4 / 6  
Apr 8, 2013   #1
"To reserve your place on the waitlist, please submit a brief 200-word statement telling us why you would like to attend UC San Diego."

Word Count: 195
Spending the next four years as a UC San Diego Triton is one of the best things that could happen to me. It would not only allow me to pursue my education in biomedical engineering at one of the top universities in the nation, but it would also place me in an area brimming with opportunities for someone with a biomedical engineering background. Furthermore, after visiting UCSD, I found that it exemplifies everything I look for in a college: an atmosphere conducive and dedicated to academic excellence and high achievement, students with passion and drive that mirrors my own, the perfect location in a beautiful and accessible area, and a social scene that would allow me to explore all that UCSD, as well as San Diego itself, has to offer. Beyond what UCSD could offer me however, I am confident that I could contribute to UCSD as well. Aside from being a hardworking and intelligent student, I find myself to be a well-rounded and creative free spirit. I hope that the sum of my qualities along with UCSD's passionate and high achieving yet laidback and fun environment prove to be perfect fits for each other.

abhigeorge 6 / 20 2  
Apr 9, 2013   #2
Hi samanthaaaj, few corrections from my side.

I find myself to be a well-rounded and creative free spirit... well-rounded means over weight. May be you meant all rounder ?

...."yet laid- back and fun environment prove to be perfect fits for each other.

I find your sentences very long and sometimes confusing. I would be nice if you could break them into smaller ones.

Best regards
George
Vasqueza 2 / 2  
Apr 9, 2013   #3
Hi samanthaaaj,

In my opinion, you may want to focus more on the academic side. Like the programs that you are wanting to get in and how the university will help you in achieving your goals.

Sincerely,

Andrea
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Apr 13, 2013   #4
at one of the top universities in the nation,

at one of the top national universities in the US

I find myself to be a well-rounded and creative free spirit... well-rounded means over weight. May be you meant all rounder ?

I think what samathaaaj has written is correct. Well rounded means that well balanced in a range or variety of aspects. So, it's a good key word to use for this idea.

Overall, I find this is a real good response. It's neat and tidy with all important information to convince the admission panel why you like studying at UC San Diego.

Good Luck with your application!


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