In an essay of 300 words or less, please describe how your past circumstances and experiences (such as your upbringing, community, and/or activities) impacted who you are, your future goals, and your choice of major. If you haven't decided on a college or major yet, briefly explain your intentions and aspirations for your first year at Illinois.
Having been up in Nigeria; a developing country still at its ebb of technological developments, anyone could notice that the country was and still is aback in terms of advancements in technology. Majority of the industries here are still labour than capital-intensive.
Whenever I travelled to other countries like England or America during the summer holidays, I noticed that fewer people went to bookshops because it was easier to order books online, anytime I was too lazy to go shopping at the mall, I could shop online instead, cars had GPS systems so it was easy to get directions to anywhere, and I thought to myself "Wow!, we really are lagging behind in Nigeria because we don't have cars with GPS navigation, and online shopping isn't even reliable over there. So many things don't work in Nigeria. We need more computer scientists and engineers here".
The world as we know it has become one global village, and I think Nigeria needs to go with the flow of the tide. This is one reason why I feel studying computer science in Illinois will help me achieve this goal. I believe my passion for computing and information technology would help Nigeria grow in different aspects- commerce, business, car and manufacturing industries- and would make work more efficient and easier.
Please give me feedback on this essay.
It's a pretty well-written essay, but how would you use computer science to help your country? In what ways would work become more efficient and easier?
Thank you for the feedback. Yes i still live in Nigeria.
The point about helping the country using computer science.
My point basically is that since the country is lagging behind in terms of technological advancements, it needs people who have studied courses related to it to help the country, and these people would be employed in different industries and will help these industries with their knowledge of IT. For example, since bookstores are closing down, you would need someone to start up a website for your bookstore where people can order books online because that hasn't been done efficiently in this part of the world.
What i mean by making work easier is, if a computer engineer/scientist decides to work with a car manufacturing company in Nigeria here for example Toyota, they can use their idea of robotics to replace labour in these industries with capital, thus lowering costs and making manufacturing work even faster.
I don't know if you get what i mean now, but that's what i was trying to say, although i didnt know how to sum it up properly in the essay
In general, it is a pretty good essay. Almost nothing I can find to revise. But I think in this essay, you mentioned a lot of things related to your country, and if you can add something about your individual connection with computer science, the essay will be much better.
