"Being normal is overrated" - FSU essay. I need help on this...

Although each word signifies something important in my life, I relate to "Artes" the most. Creativity is one thing I have that others lack. I remember in kindergarten, whenever you were done with your work, you could go play with the big bucket full of Lego's in the corner. There wasn't a manual so you wouldn't know how to build an airplane, car, boat, etc. All the kids would just stack them together and make a box or a square. But to me, that was way too boring. I wanted to make something different from the rest of the kids. I recently saw the movie "Star Wars" and those X-Wing spaceships and I wanted to build that. So I just stuck my hand in the bucket, grabbed a handful of Lego's and spread them out on the floor. I started building and building until I was satisfied with it. I showed all my friends and they were all shocked and jealous that they couldn't make something as magnificent as mine. Even the teacher was amazed. So amazed, that she put my Lego X- Wing spaceship on top of her cabinet. I was so happy that she chose mine instead of the other kids.

My parents are both very serious people. They work very hard and have no time for silly stuff. On the other hand, I like to make people laugh with my creative stories. Ever since I was little, I've always loved making up stories with random things that would just pop up in my head. If I was thinking about cheese and cats at the moment, I would make a story about a small rat that is on a journey to get cheese for his family except the cheese is guarded by big cats. Last year, I signed up for a Creative Writing class to share my humorous stories while learning how to write better. I was the teacher's favorite student because my stories would always cheer her up since it was her last class of the day.

Creativity comes in handy for school projects also. Last year in my physics class, Mrs. Joseph, our teacher, wanted us to make an amusement park while explaining the physics behind it. I wanted to do something different than the roller coaster or carasoul. I thought of getting play do and mold it into six cannons. Then I would put a lake in the middle between the six cannons, three on each side. People would then get to shoot themselves across the lake and onto a giant soft pillow. My amusement ride was simple yet creative. When it was our time to present, she particularly interested in mine because she has never seen a cannon ride before. I explained the physics behind it and it made her laugh. We got an A.

Being normal is overrated. My "weird" personality is what sets me apart from everyone else.

^Errr...I would like to think that I also have creativity.


^Unless you were in my kindergarden class (which you were not), you would not know if I played with Legos in the corner or not.


^This was in kindergarden...come on. You can not use this example (I mean you can but it would just be childish).


^Arrogant. Even if this is true and the teacher told you explicitly that you were her favorite student, it adds nothing of value to your essay. Telling a story about a cat and cheese does not impress admissions.

Same goes for your concluding paragraph. Choose a different topic and rewrite.