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Northwestern supplement short answer (atmosphere / location)

bully 5 / 1  
Dec 14, 2008   #1
I'm not 100% content with it... just want a quick check to make sure I'm on track.

What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

Northwestern University is the school of my dreams. Northwestern has every attribute of a college that I want to be educated at. The academics, the size, and the student atmosphere of Northwestern is what I am looking for in a school. As an aspiring computer science or biomedical engineering major, McCormick School of Engineering and Applied Science is the ideal place to study. Northwestern University would be the perfect fit for me.

The academics at Northwestern are among the best in the nation. I have always been motivated to take the hardest courses in school, and would like to continue to challenge myself by attending Northwestern. The quality of education at Northwestern would enrich and develop my abilities; there will be no doubt that I will succeed after graduation. The variety of labs at McCormick in the Electrical Engineering and Computer Science open up endless opportunities. The labs are state of the art and offer a learning environment that surpasses my expectations.

While searching for the perfect school, Alfred Bonds III, a professor of computer science, biomedical engineering, and electrical engineering and graduate of Northwestern University, referred me to Northwestern when I visited Vanderbilt University's computer science department. He told me Northwestern was the school that I was searching for, and that Northwestern had the best computer science department in the central time zone. Northwestern University is the perfect school for me.

Northwestern has the location and student body size that fits me. Chicago is my favorite city in the United States. Northwestern stands out because it is close enough to Chicago, but not too close to the point of being an urban school. Furthermore, the number of students at Northwestern is just right: enough to feel different from high school, but not a huge state school. Also, Chicago is located far enough away from where I live now to simulate life away from my hometown.

The atmosphere of a school is extremely important, and having a competitive football team is imperative to a school's atmosphere. Northwestern competing in the Big Ten conference is great. I take great pleasure in cheering for my school's team. My father went to the University of Minnesota, and a little family rivalry is always fun. I would be able to take part in watching the Wildcats for the rest of my life.

Northwestern is the school with every aspect that I look for when it comes to education. Education is vital to starting a career, and most of all I know that an education at Northwestern would plant a firm foundation for me to succeed. Northwestern has the facilities, the location, and the atmosphere that connects with my thoughts of what the ideal place to learn is.

EF_Sean 6 / 3,491  
Dec 14, 2008   #2
You might want to tone down on the obvious hyperbole in your sycophantic praise of Northwestern. Not that you shouldn't engage in sycophantic praise in such essays, but this is a little too over the top:

"Northwestern University is the school of my dreams."
"Northwestern has every attribute of a college that I want to be educated at."
"Northwestern University would be the perfect fit for me"
"Northwestern University is the perfect school for me"
"Northwestern is the school with every aspect that I look for when it comes to education."

Saying that once, as a conclusion emerging from your analysis of all the great qualities Northwestern has, would be okay. Repeating the same sentiment five time in less than 500 words using almost identical wording each time is not.

Apart from that, you seem to have solid reasons for wanting to attend Northwestern. I'd expand on them a bit to replace the above material. You might also want to cut out the bit about your father going to the University of Minnesota, and perhaps even lose the whole football example, as it doesn't really fit well with your other reasons, which tend to be more academic and career oriented.

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