What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?
Engineering has always been a passion of mine. From my childhood experiences with my grandparents, I learned how to construct simple structures such as miniature buildings and scale models of smaller animals. These models were measured in a precise manner and tested against realistic obstacles to observe its subsequent durability. In the years following, I realized that I could apply what I had experienced to problems that occurred in real-life; the emphasis of this application would be on helping the people to survive from natural disasters.
Although this environmental engineering aspect did interest me, I found my real interest several years later, in my high school biology course. Biomedical engineering involves key factors of both engineering and medicine and is my major as a result of the encouragement of my freshman year biology teacher. Mrs. Cohen was very supportive of my projects that I constructed within her class and so, she recommended that I join the robotics club within my school. She believed that it was a great place for me to continue developing the ideas that I had.
After participating on the robotics team for three years, I found that she was right in her recommendations as I discovered that there were many applications of mechanics in robotics in the field of medicine. In order to test out medicines before human consumption, test subjects need to be used as guinea pigs. These test subjects need to be treated with fairness and with dignity. In many cases of testing, this equality is not given. This is why I suggest that artificial life forms such as bots need to be used more often; if used, poor and innocent mice would be saved from a very cruel fate of harmful side effects. The bots could be designed to reflect the types of reactions that would ensue from testing on a living subject. Quite possibly, the minimal weakness of using this testing method would be that the bot is not going to show every possible side effect that can occur from using the product; then again, no test subject can ever show every side effect as most side effects are not revealed until humans begin to consume the product.
Another way in which bots and technology could be used in medicine is to have more advanced technological programs to increase the accuracy of the overall findings. As there is always an error within experimentation as nothing is perfect, the possibility of error is going to be slightly diminished if the technology used is made to reflect the least amount of error that is possible for the object. If it is attempted to better the types of resources used, billions of dollars could be saved from resolving one type of error.
At Northwestern, I believe that my ideas for the field of biomedical engineering can be recognized based on the impressive types of resources given to undergraduates. The laboratory materials are complete, the professors are state-of-the-art and the principles of engineering are one of a kind. The undergraduates, especially, are given the care and guidance they deserve as the faculty complete research projects with the undergraduates alongside to participate. Take, for instance, Professor Daniel C. Batlle; he has been conducting research on the regulation and growths of kidney cells. In carrying out his experimentation, he took time to explain the processes behind why the experimentation was possible and this made the undergraduates understand what type of research he was conducting. This close relationship between faculties supports my view that learning occurs best when adults include their younger counterparts as well. Northwestern is therefore the place for me.
The prompt asks "In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?" You does not answer this question in your essay since you did not mention the specific aspects of NU that will benefit you.
All paragraphs except the last one is about your interest, which is wordy. Try to cut out some unnecessary parts.
I think you can leave out the "environmental engineering aspect" part. They are irrelevent compared to others information.
First, I think the first sentence of this essay is too boring and simple. It will be better to take an artful approach to the way you write that first sentence; come up with something that really comes from the deepest part of your mind as you think about your longstanding interest in engineering.
Although this environmental engineering aspect did interest me, I found my real interest several years later, in my high school biology course. ----- this first sentence of paragraph 2 is confusing. Suddenly we are in the middle of a story. I think you should rewrite this sentence so it applies to the big picture. Although my interest in engineering in fundamental to my personality, I developed some specific ideas pertaining to the fields of _______ and ________ when I was in high school.
and then the last sentence of paragraph 2 should really make it very clear that you ar saying something about what this all amounts to. This essay has some complex explanations to give, so clarity is very important. At the beginning or end of every paragraph, spell out the meaning for the reader so that there is no confusion. I bet this kind of clarity will be necessary in much of the writing you will do in your chosen field!
:-)
