What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?
I'm a little worried I didn't talk about myself enough and just listed some qualities of Northwestern, so comment on that if you think so too or not.
When I visited Northwestern as a prospective student for McCormick, I caught some type of fever. However, this was no ordinary fever. Symptoms included excessive excitement at the sight of anything royal purple and the ability to vividly envision my life at Northwestern.
Ever since I took the Northwestern tour, I have had a strong urge to buy anything purple. I am not very fond of the color purple, but my body insists on gathering as much purple as my wallet can muster. I accredit this strange, almost uncontrollable behavior to the fever tapping deep into my subconscious and whispering 'prepare for Northwestern.'
The fever also allowed me to catch glimpses of the future. In one vision, I was covered head to toe in royal purple watching a Big 10 football game. It was second down, fifteen seconds left in the fourth with the Wildcats trailing by three points. Bam! The runningback takes the ball, zooms past the line, jukes the linebacker, and forcefully trucks through the safety for a Wildcat touchdown. I let out an intense scream of pure joy and admiration, feeling the wildcat blood coursing through my veins. Sadly, like the rest of my vivid visions, it came to a close. Leaving me yearning for Northwestern
I been analyzing this strange sickness for awhile and found many possible causes. First, I looked at the campus itself for an answer. Northwestern has the perfect location. Situated in Evanston and a mere twenty minutes away from Chicago, Northwestern provides a safe and relaxing atmosphere while still offering a thrilling nightlife to stave off boredom. This set up is the perfect recipe for success- a calm, relaxing place to get work done and a fun, exciting city where I can just enjoy myself with a mouthwatering slice of Giordano's deep dish down in Chicago.
Although fantastic, Northwestern's location could not have been the only cause of my sickness. I'm positive it also has something to do with McCormick's acclaimed biomedical engineering program. Everything from McCormick's staff and students to it's whole-brained philosophy on learning excites me.
For one, Northwestern as a whole sports an extremely low 23 percent acceptance rate. This makes most prospective students cringe and shy away from Northwestern. However, for me a low acceptance rate is a sign of greatness and opportunity. With a 23 percent acceptance rate, only the best students make it past applications. I am a firm believer that peers and teachers strongly dictate one's actions, capacity to learn, and psychological growth. With Northwestern, I am assured that I will be surrounded by people that will allow me to unlock my full potential and grow to my maximum extent.
Even though I may be surrounded by exceptional professors and knowledgeable classmates, I need more connections in order to secure a job. This is where McCormick's co-op program comes into play. It is difficult to land a job these days and not only does acquiring a great job require a good education, but also good connections. The co-op program allows me to supplement time spent sitting in class with actual hands on experience with real biomedical engineers. With actual experience, I am gaining skills needed to be an engineer, coming closer to my goals as a biomedical engineer, and making those important connections to help bridge the gap between education and work.
Whether the cause of the sickness was Northwestern's superb location or McCormick's attractive co-op program, I can I have enjoyed being sick. All the purple now in my closet and the visions I have had, had gotten me psyched to go to Northwestern. Also, after researching the cause of the sickness, I realized more and more that Northwestern is the perfect school for me.
I think this essay appropriately responds the qualities of Northwestern that you find appealing - and you've already expressed the place that you have in the school, so don't worry about that! Your metaphor was creative too :)
"...I can I have enjoyed being sick" - at the end, might want to fix that.
"...had gotten me psyched to go to Northwestern." - also at the end - I think you should word that better. It's one thing to be casual and informal in your essay, but you shouldn't sacrifice the quality of your language for it.
Sadly, like the rest of my vivid visions, it came to a close leaving me yearning for Northwestern.
I have been analyzing this strange sickness for a while and found many possible causes.
a thrilling city life to stave "City life" is more adcom friendly :)
Your explanation of why you like McCormick made it sound like you see education as a means to get a high paying job. Thats probably not a good thing. Read the essay out loud to yourself to fix some of the awkward syntax you have going on. Otherwise, good job! It was unique.