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Northwestern- my kind of soup

angie127 12 / 49  
Oct 31, 2009   #1
This is a very rough draft. Please comment. I definitely want to shorten it.
What are the unique qualities of Northwestern-and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying-that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?

Most of the schools I have researched contain the same underlying ingredients for the college experience "soup": multiple major opportunities, a safe campus in a beautiful location, and a variety of study abroad and internship programs. When I stepped onto Northwestern's campus for a visit and perused its informative website, I discovered the school's spices that flavored the Wildcats broth: a rigorous liberal arts curriculum with a strong Anthropology program; distinctive student-run traditions; and an exceptionally involved student body. These additional flavors satisfy my taste preferences for the full college experience and are the qualities that will foster my intellectual and personal growth.

After growing up in a diverse city and traveling to Latin America for community service projects, I have developed in interest in cultural anthropology. The Weinberg's College of Arts and Sciences' will nurture this interest with its Anthropology program. Not only will I gain an understanding in the four subfields of Anthropology through my small classes directed by dedicated professors, but I will also have many resources available that will help me develop the skills I need to pursue a career in the field. In addition, the College's freshman seminars will broaden my critical thinking skills that I will be able to apply to the Anthropology concentration.

During my Northwestern visit, I noticed the multiple banners hanging on the trees and the colorful messages scribbled on the sidewalk. I was pleased to hear from my tour guide that Northwestern students are not just academically-driven, but also passionate about their interests as well as philanthropic work. To me community service is education outside of the classroom; it teaches about social issues and human interaction more effectively than any course on these matters. I know that at Northwestern I will be able to work alongside students who are also driven by the interest to gain from this type of learning. As a Northwestern student I hope to continue working with younger students in need of encouragement to reach their potential by participating in OASIS and the Peer Health Exchange.

The final spices that complete the Wildcat broth are the various traditions at Northwestern. The Rock, a quartzite boulder adorned with announcements and students' attempts at art, is a symbol of the Northwestern community. Its every-changing face represents the diversity of the students' interests and unites the student body. The infamous Primal Scream and activity-filed Dillo Day allow students to release anxieties and get to know students in a healthy and fun way.

Northwester's qualities are the ingredients that complete my preferences for the college soup. I hope to taste the University's unique broth next year and to flavor it with my own spices.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Nov 2, 2009   #2
Great use of colons and semi-colons in that first paragraph. Take out the word "underlying" if you want, because I think it is distracting and not helpful.

I really like the first paragraph.

Don't say dedicated professors, sounds like a brochure. Instead, name some of them! :-)

You can improve this by adding a few key sentences to give examples of specific ways you will "make use of" resources here to advance you as a cultural anthropologist.

I am really impressed with your approach. Please give some ideas to others and consider establishing yourself as an EF Contributor (looks good on applications, only takes a couple minutes each week)

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