Please critique and comment! Harsh, honest, and thorough comments are much preferred. Thanks!
[essay below]
What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?
When I was little, my parents occasionally took me out on a weekend excursion to the campus of Northwestern University. Back then, I did not know I was frolicking in the gardens and beaches belonging to a prestigious, world-class institution. As I grew older, I have not lost the feeling of excitement and anticipation I have always had for the university.
From those childhood memories to my first "official" campus tour, I have had no doubt in my mind that Northwestern was where I wanted to spend the most exciting and challenging four years of my life. At Northwestern, I plan to major in anthropology and possibly have a minor or another major in molecular biology at the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences. I know that this type of learning is possible only at Northwestern; the quarter system is one feature I plan to take full advantage of, crossing my intellectual boundaries by taking more classes during each 10-week session. Through the quarter system, I hope to gain a much thorough understanding of my major without feeling encumbered by many classes at a time.
The amount of freedom that Northwestern endows to its students is paralleled by its classes, which are small and taught by award-winning faculty. I was intrigued by the Freshman Seminars at WCAS; I could not help but be fascinated by seminars titled "Recipes for Reading: Food in Myth, Literature, and Film" and "Waterworld or Star Trek: What's Our Energy Future?" just to name a couple. Being able to fulfill core requirements with fun and intensive classes is one of my favorite aspects about WCAS. Freshman Seminars is a completely unique opportunity that I would wholeheartedly enjoy and hope to partake in.
Other qualities that magnetize me toward Northwestern exist beyond the classrooms and lecture halls. I was touched by the quirkiness of its diverse student body when I saw the famous Rock; at the time of my campus tour, a hopeful undergraduate had proposed to someone via the colorful boulder. The strong sense of pride and creativity of the students are evident through the old, quirky campus traditions such as Dillo Day and Waa-Mu, as well as its countless philanthropic groups. Since I am also passionate about service and humanitarianism, groups such as AIESEC, Operation Smile, and Habitat for Humanity seem catered toward my interests. In addition, I would love to continue my involvement with Amnesty International at Northwestern to further surround myself with those who share a common passion. I dream of living among such a dynamic group of students, and just imagining that I will one day contribute to its energy already makes me feel a part of the Northwestern community.
Northwestern University provides the perfect balance of excellent academics and a fun and energetic atmosphere that I look for in an ideal university. I hope that I will be privileged enough to have Northwestern in my future as it has been a part of my past.
Wow..that was good :)
I really like the ending. You are a good writer.
Stylistically, I think some of wording is a bit complex in the middle "magnetize" ... Don't get me wrong, big words can be nice, but you use them at quite a frequency that it can be kind of strenuous to absorb. Remember, simplicity and conciseness can get to the idea through faster.
Just an opinion.
Check out mine too if you could?
This is a good place to pluralize:
When I was little, my parents occasionally took me out on a weekend excursions to the campus of Northwestern University.
Don't include unnecessary/unhelpful words:
At Northwestern, I plan to major in anthropology and possibly have a minor or another major in molecular biology at the Weinberg College of Arts and Sciences. ---It is better to omit details and sacrifice some specificity for some memorability. :-)
I think you should use "quirky/quirkiness" only once, not twice... or it becomes too much of that quirky word.
Northwestern University provides the perfect balance of excellent---The ending is not memorable. That last paragraph should be revised to reinforce a cool theme, something memorable.
:-) When an essay is "memorable," people feel that it is "good."
