I still got long ways to go the word limit i think is from 250-300 and I'm well over.. and I don't know if I answered the question right..
suggestions to make it a stong, short and sweet essay? PLEASE PLEASE HELP
Northwestern Statement: What are the unique qualities of Northwestern - and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying - that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?
Marching through the Arch at the Northwestern University, I am here to make a difference. Throughout my life, I have walked in the overflowing streets of Seoul, in the wilderness leading my group of autistic friends, through the corridors of St. Joseph's Home, in the March for Life in Washington D.C., and in the fast moving hallways of schools in Korea, Australia, California, and Illinois. Everywhere I go, I'm intrigued by the various reactions of the people as I flash them smiles. This is just one way of how I communicate, and I cannot imagine living in a world where there is no interaction among people. At the same time, it fascinates me that this is all workings of an organ that takes up merely three pounds of my body, the brain. A tiny section of it called the Broca's Area has allowed the speeches of the greatest historical figures like Gandhi and Wilberforce.
Now as I walk through the Frances Searle Building, I see curious people like me. With the support of these people at the Northwestern University School of Communication, I plan to major in Human Communication Sciences with a special focus on Learning Disabilities. I am attracted to the depth of academic study of human communicative processes that the NU SoC offers. It emphasizes the basic science principles tracing down to the roots of all human communication and cognition. This will introduce me to clinical issues and research findings that pertain to disorders of communication and learning like autism, which I have had a first- hand experience with from volunteering at Miral School. Fortified from taking part in autism research at the Neurodevelopmental Disabilities Laboratory at Northwestern University, I will be able to make my goal of empowering the communicatively disabled members of our society a reality. I know that education at NU will enable me to further pursue a never-ending inquiry of communication and neuroscience. I am aware that there is no special formula for me to reach out to all the people in need. I must take steps, however many there may be. As of now, I'm ready to take the first step that lies in Northwestern School of Communication.
Do I need to come up with more specifics and get rid of details? make it more insightful?
Overall I think you have a very strong essay! I think your last paragraph is great because it show the school how you believe you will personally benefit from their services. I think that in your intro you could cut back a little and focus more on the work you have done with autistic kids and communication. It is great that you have walked in all of those places but I think you should be more specific as to how they tie in with your communication major. A few other things:
1) Marching is sort of an impersonal word and if I understand you right I don't think it really captures what you are going for, maybe something like "When I first stepped through the Arch at Northwestern I knew that I could make a difference here."
2) saying that you are intrigued by peoples reactions when you "flash them a smile" sounds a little egocentric, I might suggest rephrasing that.
3) "I see curious people like me." I get what you are trying to say but you don't really reference curiosity in the first paragraph so I would either changed the word or add something about curiosity in the intro.
4) I am not sure about abbreviations... I personally don't understand them but if the person reading this essay will then they are probably fine.
Other then those things I think your essay is very good! Good luck! :)
I really like it! Your intro is much better. I love how you incorporate the science of communication into the social aspects. Really the only thing I can think of that I would change is the flow of the first sentence. When you say "...leading my group of autistic friends, through the corridors of St. Joseph's Home..." it sounds like you were leading your friends through St. Joseph's even with the comma. Maybe change "through" to "in" that way it matches the pattern you have set up with the rest of the list. That is really the only thing I would change!
I still need to cut it down a little bit.. Any Suggestions anyone?!
I will work on it some more!
Thank you so much again Maddi! I liked your essay, too :) Good Luck!!
how much needs to be cut down, and are you word counting using Microsoft Word, because the common app advices not to do so. my 650 word essay turned into 617 when i word counted with another software.
You are seriously the best! The essay sounds so much better after taking your suggestions!
I can't believe I finished that whole essay in a day.. I hope the admissions counselor does not see that.
Thanks again :)
Wishing you the very best with your educational and professional pursuits.
