The prompt is: "What are the unique qualities of Northwestern-and of the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying-that make you want to attend the University? In what ways do you hope to take advantage of the qualities you have identified?" Here's my response:
Northwestern University has been my first choice university since the beginning of middle school. My passion for the study of medicine has led me to this prestigious university. I see that pursuing the study of medicine offers a great future for me, and Northwestern would be able to provide a great platform for me to pursue that interest. Every day, we live a life that only exists today because we have medicine. Without medicine, our lifestyles would be different. There would be lower life expectancy and overall health. Medicine is a beautiful subject that forms the foundation of how we work, play, and live. Northwestern can help me pursue this dream of studying medicine; thus Northwestern is my first choice university.
With the interest of medicine, I am attracted toward every opportunity to have hands-on experience with medicine related material. The Feinberg School of Medicine offers experience in health clinics, Center for Global Health, and research programs. These programs will provide me the foundation for pursuing my dreams while at the same time receiving a rounded, disciplined education.
Not only do I admire the fact that Northwestern has an entirely separate school for medicine, the Feinburg School of Medicine, but I am captivated by the overall appearance and atmosphere of the University. During my Evanston campus visit on July 5, 2011, I knew that this was going to be my top choice school. The campus was very large and safe with a university police force. I noticed that the buildings' architecture was more contemporary in comparison to other colleges such as University of Chicago. I especially admired how there were students studying on the campus even when the day was very pleasant. Northwestern University has an academically rigorous environment. I am looking for a university that puts emphasis on academic rigor and has an academically positive environment to go with it. It is my hope that I could benefit from such an academically positive environment at Northwestern and have the opportunity to contribute to such an environment.
Lastly the Northwestern University's diversity and endless opportunities of extracurricular activities amazes me. Northwestern University offers a broad array of characteristics, experiences, backgrounds, and perspectives that creates a unique community. By having a diverse community, individuals can flourish by receiving out of the ordinary perspective on problems and ideas. I hope to be able to employ this diversity toward my advantage and work with individuals of different backgrounds to not only develop personal character but also benefit from such a rich mix of cultures at Northwestern. Partnered with diversity, Northwestern's countless extracurricular activities greatly appeals to my ideals of a dream school. Some extracurricular activities and student groups include Applied Medical Society, Northwestern Immersion Experience, and South-East Asia Center. By using already established leadership qualities I hope to take advantage of such extracurricular activities and develop my vision of a leader even more.
Northwestern harnesses both excellence in academic and social fields as well as maintaining diversity in the student body, I am certain that Northwestern my ideal choice of institution.
Does it flow nicely? Please feel free to read and critique my Northwestern University supplement statement. Any feedback is appreciated!
You use the word "great" which could be easily replaced by something better. Your first paragraph is redundant; I mean i see how you're following the whole concluding sentence relates back to the topic sentence, but I think it could end or start with some different. You could also instead of "My passion for the study of medicine has led me..." have my passion to study medicine has led me... Keep it concise and easy to read.
Third Paragraph: many schools have their own med school. Mentioning the date that you visited is unecesary. "I noticed that the buildings' architecture was more contemporary in comparison to other colleges such as University of Chicago." I kind of find this sentence uncessary but if you want to keep it change buildings' architecture sounds redundant/awkward.
Fourth Paragraph: You did research but you just i hope to take advantage of the clubs and what not you really didnt say how or how you are going to impact northwestern. Some colleges have a whole page devoted to "why this college" so maybe northwestern does too.
Overall... the essay is redundant throughout by you saying "its my top choice" admissions will probably figure it out if youre applying ED or EA but even if youre not once or twice in the beginning and end is enough.
